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Bert and ernie Funny Best Jokes

1. Why did Bert and Ernie bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard the drinks were on the high shelf!
2. How did Bert and Ernie react when they found a treasure map? They said, “We’re going on an Ernie-ture!”
3. What did Bert say to Ernie when he couldn’t find his socks? “Looks like we’ve got a case of the disappearing footwear, Ernie!”
4. Why did Bert and Ernie bring a map to the amusement park? Because they heard it was a-maze-ing!
5. What did Bert and Ernie do when they discovered a talking parrot? They said, “Finally, someone who understands our conversations, Ernie!”
6. Why did Bert and Ernie start a band? Because they wanted to play some “Rubber Duckie and the Groovy Tunes”!
7. How did Bert and Ernie react when they found out they won a trip to Hawaii? They said, “Aloha, Ernie! Let’s hula our way to paradise!”
8. Why did Bert and Ernie take up gardening? Because they wanted to see their relationship “blossom,” Ernie!
9. What did Bert and Ernie do when they discovered a secret passage in their apartment? They said, “Looks like we’ve stumbled upon some Ernie-come Bert-come mysteries!”
10. Why did Bert and Ernie open a bakery? Because they wanted to make some “Sesame Street Sweets,” Ernie!
11. How did Bert and Ernie react when they found out they were neighbors with a famous chef? They said, “Looks like we’ve hit the culinary jackpot, Ernie! Time for some gourmet cookies!”
12. What did Bert and Ernie do when they found out they could time travel? They said, “Let’s take a trip down memory lane, Ernie! But let’s not forget our rubber duckies!”
13. Why did Bert and Ernie become detectives? Because they wanted to solve the mystery of the missing rubber duckies!
14. How did Bert and Ernie react when they found out they were distant relatives of royalty? They said, “Looks like we’ve got some royal blood, Ernie! Time to practice our regal wave!”
15. What did Bert and Ernie do when they discovered a hidden talent for painting? They said, “Let’s create some masterpieces, Ernie! Maybe we’ll start a new art movement: Sesame Impressionism!”
16. Why did Bert and Ernie enroll in a cooking class? Because they wanted to master the art of making “Bert’s Barbecue Burgers” and “Ernie’s Extraordinary Eclairs”!
17. How did Bert and Ernie react when they found out they could speak to animals? They said, “Finally, someone who understands our duckie language, Ernie!”
18. Why did Bert and Ernie start a detective agency? Because they heard there were some mysterious happenings on Sesame Street!
19. What did Bert and Ernie do when they discovered a time machine in their closet? They said, “Looks like we’ve stumbled upon the past, present, and future, Ernie! Let’s make sure we don’t accidentally erase ourselves from history!”
20. Why did Bert and Ernie start a gardening club? Because they wanted to cultivate friendship and flowers, Ernie!

Bert and ernie Puns Jokes

1. Bert and Ernie went to the beach, but Bert forgot his towel, so Ernie said, “Don’t worry, Bert, I’ve got you covered!”
2. When Bert and Ernie went fishing, Ernie caught a big one and exclaimed, “This is reel-y exciting, Bert!”
3. Bert asked Ernie why he was wearing a sweater in summer, and Ernie replied, “I’m just trying to stay ‘ernie’ all season!”
4. When Bert asked Ernie if he wanted to go skydiving, Ernie said, “Sure, Bert, I’m ‘ernie’ for an adventure!”
5. Bert and Ernie decided to start a gardening business, and Ernie said, “We’ll make it ‘bert’-iful, Bert!”
6. When Bert and Ernie got lost in the woods, Bert said, “I’m ‘ernie’-vous, Ernie!”
7. Bert and Ernie opened a bakery, and Ernie said, “Let’s make sure our pastries are ‘bert’-ter than the rest!”
8. When Bert and Ernie tried their hand at surfing, Bert exclaimed, “Hang ten, Ernie, let’s catch some ‘bert’-tastic waves!”
9. Ernie asked Bert why he was carrying a ladder around, and Bert replied, “I heard the view is ‘bert’-er from up high!”
10. When Bert and Ernie went skiing for the first time, Ernie said, “I hope we don’t ‘ernie’ ourselves on the slopes, Bert!”
11. Bert and Ernie decided to build a treehouse, and Ernie said, “Let’s make it ‘bert’-ter than anyone else’s!”
12. When Bert asked Ernie why he was carrying a map, Ernie replied, “I’m just trying to find the ‘bert’ route, Bert!”
13. Bert and Ernie tried their hand at pottery, and Ernie said, “Let’s make some ‘bert’-tiful vases, Bert!”
14. When Bert and Ernie went on a road trip, Ernie said, “I’m ‘ernie’-getic about exploring new places, Bert!”
15. Bert and Ernie decided to start a band, and Bert said, “Let’s make some ‘bert’-tastic music, Ernie!”
16. When Bert asked Ernie why he was carrying a picnic basket, Ernie replied, “I’m ‘ernie’ to have a lunch break, Bert!”
17. Bert and Ernie tried their hand at painting, and Ernie said, “Let’s make some ‘bert’-tiful landscapes, Bert!”
18. When Bert asked Ernie why he was wearing sunglasses indoors, Ernie replied, “I’m just trying to look ‘ernie’ cool, Bert!”
19. Bert and Ernie decided to become detectives, and Bert said, “Let’s solve some ‘bert’-ifying mysteries, Ernie!”
20. When Bert and Ernie went camping, Ernie said, “I hope we don’t ‘ernie’ ourselves in the wilderness, Bert!”

Bert and ernie Pickup Lines Jokes

1. “Are you a rubber duckie? Because you make my heart squeak, just like Bert’s and mine!”
2. “Is your name Ernie? Because you’ve got me feeling like I’m living on Sesame Street!”
3. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again with my rubber duckie?”
4. “Are you Bert’s paperclip collection? Because you’ve got me hooked!”
5. “Are you an alphabet soup? Because you’ve got all the letters I need to spell out ‘love’!”
6. “Are you a cozy sweater? Because being with you feels like being wrapped in warmth, just like Bert’s hugs!”
7. “Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes, Ernie!”
8. “Are you Bert’s favorite pigeon, Bernice? Because you’ve stolen my heart!”
9. “Do you have a flashlight? Because you light up my life, just like Bert’s reading lamp!”
10. “Are you a rubber band? Because you’ve got me feeling all stretched out with excitement, Ernie!”
11. “Do you have a cookie? Because you’ve got me craving something sweet, just like Bert and his oatmeal cookies!”
12. “Are you Bert’s favorite book, ‘Pigeon Lover’s Almanac’? Because you’ve got me captivated!”
13. “Do you have a tape measure? Because I’m falling for you, and I need to know how deep this love goes, just like Bert’s bookshelf!”
14. “Are you Bert’s prized bottle cap collection? Because you’ve got me feeling like I’ve hit the jackpot!”
15. “Do you have a rubber ducky? Because you’ve got me feeling all bubbly inside, just like bath time with Ernie!”
16. “Are you Bert’s favorite sweater vest? Because you’ve got me feeling cozy and warm!”
17. “Do you have a favorite paperclip? Because you’ve got me feeling pinned to you, just like Bert’s important documents!”
18. “Are you Bert’s oatmeal cookies? Because one bite of you and I’m hooked!”
19. “Do you have a phone book? Because I’d love to look up your number and give you a call, just like Bert and Ernie’s late-night chats!”
20. “Are you Bert’s lucky bottle cap? Because you’ve got me feeling like I’ve won the lottery!”

Bert and ernie Charade Jokes

1. Charade: Bert and Ernie baking cookies together
   Answer: Baking
2. Charade: Bert playing the saxophone while Ernie sings along
   Answer: Musician
3. Charade: Bert and Ernie having a picnic
   Answer: Picnic
4. Charade: Bert and Ernie going on a treasure hunt
   Answer: Treasure Hunt
5. Charade: Bert and Ernie pretending to be astronauts
   Answer: Astronauts
6. Charade: Bert and Ernie playing hide and seek
   Answer: Hide and Seek
7. Charade: Bert and Ernie having a pillow fight
   Answer: Pillow Fight
8. Charade: Bert and Ernie building a sandcastle at the beach
   Answer: Sandcastle
9. Charade: Bert and Ernie painting a masterpiece together
   Answer: Painting
10. Charade: Bert and Ernie pretending to be pirates searching for buried treasure
    Answer: Pirates
11. Charade: Bert and Ernie riding bicycles together
    Answer: Bicycling
12. Charade: Bert and Ernie having a dance party
    Answer: Dance Party
13. Charade: Bert and Ernie going on a camping trip
    Answer: Camping
14. Charade: Bert and Ernie playing soccer
    Answer: Soccer
15. Charade: Bert and Ernie going fishing
    Answer: Fishing
16. Charade: Bert and Ernie having a tea party with their stuffed animals
    Answer: Tea Party
17. Charade: Bert and Ernie pretending to be superheroes
    Answer: Superheroes
18. Charade: Bert and Ernie playing chess
    Answer: Chess
19. Charade: Bert and Ernie having a snowball fight
    Answer: Snowball Fight
20. Charade: Bert and Ernie pretending to be firefighters putting out a fire
    Answer: Firefighters

Bert and ernie OneLiners Jokes

1. Why did Bert bring a ladder to the library? Because he heard the books were on the top shelf, just like his intellect!
2. Ernie asked Bert why he’s always carrying a paperclip. Bert said, “You never know when you’ll need to hold it all together, Ernie.”
3. When Bert and Ernie went camping, Bert said, “I hope we don’t encounter any bears, Ernie. I’m not ‘ernie’ for that!”
4. Bert asked Ernie why he’s carrying a rubber ducky to the beach. Ernie said, “In case we get caught in a riptide, Bert. Safety first!”
5. Bert told Ernie, “I’ve been practicing my whistling, Ernie.” Ernie replied, “That’s great, Bert! Maybe one day you’ll call the pigeons home!”
6. When Bert and Ernie went to the movies, Bert said, “I hope they’re showing a comedy, Ernie. I could use a good laugh!”
7. Ernie asked Bert why he’s carrying a map in the city. Bert said, “In case we get lost, Ernie. I like to be prepared for any ‘ernie’ situation!”
8. Bert told Ernie, “I’m thinking of starting a vegetable garden, Ernie.” Ernie replied, “That sounds ‘bert’-er than ever, Bert! Let’s get planting!”
9. Ernie asked Bert why he’s carrying a flashlight during the day. Bert said, “You never know when you’ll need to shine a light on something, Ernie. Preparedness is key!”
10. When Bert and Ernie went to the zoo, Bert said, “Let’s make sure to visit the bird exhibit, Ernie. I feel a kinship with the pigeons!”
11. Bert asked Ernie why he’s wearing sunglasses indoors. Ernie said, “I’m just trying to look ‘ernie’ cool, Bert. Fashion knows no bounds!”
12. Ernie told Bert, “I’m thinking of taking up painting, Bert.” Bert replied, “That sounds like a ‘bert’-tastic idea, Ernie! Let your creativity flow!”
13. Bert asked Ernie why he’s carrying a picnic basket to the park. Ernie said, “I’m ‘ernie’ to enjoy some outdoor dining, Bert. Care to join me?”
14. When Bert and Ernie went to the carnival, Bert said, “Let’s start with the Ferris wheel, Ernie. I want to see the whole world from up high!”
15. Ernie told Bert, “I’ve been learning to play the ukulele, Bert.” Bert replied, “That’s fantastic, Ernie! Soon we’ll have our own Sesame Street band!”
16. Bert asked Ernie why he’s carrying a telescope in the city. Ernie said, “I’m ‘ernie’ to stargaze, Bert. Even in the hustle and bustle, the stars still shine!”
17. When Bert and Ernie went to the pet store, Bert said, “Let’s get a goldfish, Ernie. It’ll be a low-maintenance pet, just like us!”
18. Ernie told Bert, “I’ve been practicing my magic tricks, Bert.” Bert replied, “That’s ‘bert’-tacular, Ernie! Abracadabra, and soon you’ll have us all amazed!”
19. Bert asked Ernie why he’s carrying a kite on a windy day. Ernie said, “I’m ‘ernie’ to let my dreams soar, Bert. Nothing can hold me down!”
20. When Bert and Ernie went to the art museum, Bert said, “Let’s take our time and really appreciate the paintings, Ernie. Each brushstroke tells a story!”

Bert and ernie Quotes Jokes

1. “Bert, life’s like a rubber duckie. Sometimes it floats, sometimes it sinks, but it’s always there to bring a smile.” – Ernie
2. “Hey Bert, remember, a day without laughter is like a day without cookies—totally unbearable!” – Ernie
3. “Bert, isn’t it amazing how a simple ‘hello’ can lead to a million rubber duckie conversations?” – Ernie
4. “Bert, let’s sprinkle kindness like confetti and make the world a brighter place, one giggle at a time.” – Ernie
5. “You know, Bert, sometimes the best adventures are the ones we take within the walls of our own imagination.” – Ernie
6. “Bert, life’s too short to worry about matching socks. Let’s embrace our mismatched pairs and dance through the day!” – Ernie
7. “Bert, remember, even on the cloudiest days, the sun is just waiting for its moment to shine. Just like you, buddy!” – Ernie
8. “Bert, let’s face it, without you, my laughter would be a little quieter, and my days a little duller. Thanks for being my sunshine!” – Ernie
9. “Bert, if laughter is the best medicine, then our friendship is the ultimate cure for the blues!” – Ernie
10. “Bert, you’re like the peanut butter to my jelly—sticky, sweet, and always sticking by my side!” – Ernie
11. “Bert, let’s make memories today that we’ll laugh about tomorrow, just like we always do!” – Ernie
12. “Bert, in a world full of grumps and grouches, I’m grateful to have you as my forever friend and fellow adventurer!” – Ernie
13. “Bert, life’s a song, and with you by my side, every note is sweeter, every melody more magical!” – Ernie
14. “Bert, they say the best things in life are free—like laughter, friendship, and of course, rubber duckies!” – Ernie
15. “Bert, here’s to the moments that make us laugh until our sides ache and our cheeks hurt. Thanks for filling my life with endless joy!” – Ernie
16. “Bert, let’s promise to always keep the spirit of Sesame Street alive—where kindness reigns, imagination soars, and friendship knows no bounds!” – Ernie
17. “Bert, life’s too short to take seriously. Let’s embrace our inner goofballs and dance through each day with joy and laughter!” – Ernie
18. “Bert, you’re the Bert to my Ernie—the yin to my yang, the cookie to my milk, the laughter to my soul!” – Ernie
19. “Bert, just like a rubber duckie, our friendship bobs along the waves of life, always resilient, always bringing a smile!” – Ernie
20. “Bert, here’s to the simple pleasures in life—like sunshine on a rainy day, cookies before dinner, and friendship that lasts a lifetime!” – Ernie

Bert and ernie Captions Jokes

1. “Just two pals, a rubber duckie, and a whole lot of mischief!”
2. “Who needs sunshine when you’ve got a friend as bright as Bert?”
3. “Making memories and laughter, one rubber duckie at a time!”
4. “When life gives you cookies, share them with your best buddy!”
5. “Two peas in a pod? More like two cookies in a jar!”
6. “Adventure awaits, with Bert and Ernie leading the way!”
7. “Friends who laugh together, stay together—just ask Bert and Ernie!”
8. “Bert and Ernie: spreading joy and giggles since forever!”
9. “Who needs a map when you’ve got a friend like Bert to guide you?”
10. “Bert’s the Bert to my Ernie, the peanut butter to my jelly, the laughter to my soul!”
11. “With Bert by my side, every day is an adventure worth taking!”
12. “Life’s a little sweeter when you’ve got a friend like Bert to share it with!”
13. “Wherever the road may lead, Bert and Ernie will always find their way back to laughter!”
14. “Just a couple of pals, a rubber duckie, and a whole lot of heart!”
15. “They say laughter is the best medicine—good thing I’ve got Bert as my personal pharmacist!”
16. “With Bert and Ernie, every day feels like a sunny day on Sesame Street!”
17. “Who needs superheroes when you’ve got Bert and Ernie to save the day with laughter?”
18. “Through thick and thin, Bert and Ernie stick together like glue—well, maybe more like cookies and milk!”
19. “Just a couple of goofballs, spreading joy wherever they go!”
20. “Bert and Ernie: the dynamic duo of laughter, love, and rubber duckies!”

Bert and ernie Puzzles & Riddles Jokes

1. Puzzle: Bert has 5 cookies, and Ernie has 3 cookies. How many cookies do they have in total?
   Answer: 8 cookies
2. Puzzle: Bert and Ernie are planning a picnic. They have 1 basket and 2 sandwiches. How many sandwiches can they each have?
   Answer: They can each have 1 sandwich.
3. Puzzle: Bert has 3 rubber duckies, and Ernie has twice as many. How many rubber duckies do they have in total?
   Answer: They have 9 rubber duckies in total.
4. Puzzle: Bert has 4 marbles, and Ernie gives him 2 more. How many marbles does Bert have now?
   Answer: Bert has 6 marbles.
5. Puzzle: Bert is 8 years old, and Ernie is half his age. How old is Ernie?
   Answer: Ernie is 4 years old.
6. Puzzle: Bert has 2 red apples, 3 green apples, and Ernie gives him 1 more green apple. How many green apples does Bert have now?
   Answer: Bert has 4 green apples.
7. Puzzle: Bert and Ernie are painting a fence. Bert paints 3 sections, and Ernie paints twice as many. How many sections did Ernie paint?
   Answer: Ernie painted 6 sections.
8. Puzzle: Bert has 7 books, and Ernie has 4 books. How many more books does Bert have than Ernie?
   Answer: Bert has 3 more books than Ernie.
9. Puzzle: Bert has 10 candies, and Ernie eats half of them. How many candies does Ernie eat?
   Answer: Ernie eats 5 candies.
10. Puzzle: Bert and Ernie are sharing a pizza with 8 slices. Bert eats 3 slices, and Ernie eats twice as many. How many slices does Ernie eat?
    Answer: Ernie eats 6 slices.
11. Puzzle: Bert has 6 balloons, and Ernie gives him 2 more. How many balloons do they have in total?
    Answer: They have 8 balloons in total.
12. Puzzle: Bert has 9 crayons, and Ernie has half as many. How many crayons does Ernie have?
    Answer: Ernie has 4 crayons.
13. Puzzle: Bert has 12 stickers, and he gives half of them to Ernie. How many stickers does Bert have now?
    Answer: Bert has 6 stickers.
14. Puzzle: Bert has 5 toy cars, and Ernie has 3 toy cars. How many toy cars do they have in total?
    Answer: They have 8 toy cars in total.
15. Puzzle: Bert and Ernie are playing a game. Bert wins 4 rounds, and Ernie wins half as many. How many rounds did Ernie win?
    Answer: Ernie won 2 rounds.
16. Puzzle: Bert has 8 pennies, and Ernie has 6 pennies. How many more pennies does Bert have than Ernie?
    Answer: Bert has 2 more pennies than Ernie.
17. Puzzle: Bert has 10 blocks, and Ernie has 2 times as many. How many blocks do they have in total?
    Answer: They have 30 blocks in total.
18. Puzzle: Bert has 15 stickers, and Ernie has 3 stickers. How many more stickers does Bert have than Ernie?
    Answer: Bert has 12 more stickers than Ernie.
19. Puzzle: Bert has 20 candies, and he gives half of them to Ernie. How many candies does Bert have now?
    Answer: Bert has 10 candies.
20. Puzzle: Bert has 25 marbles, and Ernie has 5 marbles. How many more marbles does Bert have than Ernie?
    Answer: Bert has 20 more marbles than Ernie.

1. What gets wetter the more it dries, just like Bert and Ernie after a bath? (A towel)
2. What has keys but can’t open locks, like Bert’s key collection? (A piano)
3. What has a neck but no head, just like Bert and Ernie’s favorite rubber duckie? (A bottle)
4. What is full of holes but still holds water, just like Bert’s favorite watering can? (A sponge)
5. What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years, just like Bert and Ernie’s favorite cookies? (The letter ‘M’)
6. What has cities but no houses, forests but no trees, and rivers but no water, just like Bert and Ernie’s map collection? (A map)
7. What has a head, a tail, but no body, just like Bert and Ernie’s favorite coin? (A coin)
8. What can travel around the world while staying in a corner, just like Bert and Ernie’s globe? (A stamp)
9. What has keys but can’t open any locks, just like Bert and Ernie’s toy piano? (A computer keyboard)
10. What can be cracked, made, told, and played, just like Bert and Ernie’s favorite jokes? (A joke)
11. What can fly without wings, just like Bert and Ernie’s imagination? (A dream)
12. What has a heart that doesn’t beat, just like Bert and Ernie’s favorite stuffed animal? (An artichoke)
13. What has a face and two hands but no arms or legs, just like Bert and Ernie’s clock? (A clock)
14. What has keys that open no locks, just like Bert and Ernie’s toy chest? (A piano)
15. What can be caught but never thrown, just like Bert and Ernie’s fish tank? (A cold)
16. What has a bottom at the top, just like Bert and Ernie’s favorite upside-down cake? (A leg)
17. What has one eye but can’t see, just like Bert and Ernie’s potato? (A needle)
18. What has a bed but never sleeps, just like Bert and Ernie’s favorite storybook? (A river)
19. What has a neck but no head, just like Bert and Ernie’s favorite bottle? (A bottle)
20. What can travel around the world while staying in a corner, just like Bert and Ernie’s stamp collection? (A stamp)

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