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Bible Funny Best Jokes

1. Why did Adam go to school on the first day? Because he wanted to be the first in “history” class!
2. How did Moses make his coffee? Hebrewed it!
3. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, just like the Book of Job!
4. What do you call someone who steals from the Bible? A scriptureurist!
5. Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? Because it kept telling fishy stories!
6. What do you call the shortest person in the Bible? Knee-high-amiah!
7. Why did the fig tree break up with the palm tree? It said they were just not “fruitful” together!
8. Why don’t they play hide and seek in the Bible? Because good people are always found!
9. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
10. Why did Noah become a farmer after the flood? He heard God telling him to “grow forth and multiply”!
11. How did David keep his tent cool? He used Hebrew blowers!
12. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
13. What kind of car did the apostles drive? A Honda, because they were all in one Accord!
14. Why did the Prodigal Son go broke? Because he spent all his inheritance on “swine” upgrades!
15. Why did the donkey sit on the Old Testament? He was looking for his “stable” diet!
16. What’s the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop them a line, just like Peter!
17. Why did Cain and Abel never get along? Because they were always raising a little hell!
18. What do you call the security guards outside the Garden of Eden? Adam and his Apple!
19. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
20. What do you call a story about a flying Bible? A scripture pilot!

Bible Puns Jokes

1. Why did Noah become a great stand-up comedian? Because he had the perfect ark for jokes!
2. What’s Samson’s favorite type of workout? Hair-robics!
3. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!
4. What did the grape say when Jesus turned water into wine? “You’re crushing it!”
5. Why did the Bible go to therapy? It had too many issues!
6. How do angels greet each other? Halo there!
7. What do you call the story of Jonah told from the whale’s perspective? A whale of a tale!
8. Why did Adam and Eve never play hide and seek? Because good hiding spots are hard to come by in paradise!
9. Why do biblical characters make terrible chefs? They always follow the “prophesy” of overcooking!
10. What do you call a group of musical angels? The harp-ingers!
11. Why was the computer in the Garden of Eden so well-behaved? It had a great byte of knowledge!
12. What do you call a fish with a divine sense of humor? A holy mackerel!
13. How did Joseph style his hair? With an Egyptian curling iron!
14. What do you get when you cross the Red Sea with the Nile? A fish and chips miracle!
15. Why did the Bible bring a pencil to the party? It wanted to draw some conclusions!
16. What’s the best exercise in the Bible? The apostle-press!
17. How did the prodigal son party? He threw a swine and dine!
18. Why did the fig tree break up with the olive tree? It couldn’t find a date!
19. What did Delilah say when she got a new pair of scissors? “I’m on a cutting-edge trend!”
20. Why was the burning bush a great storyteller? It always had a fiery tale to tell!

Bible Pickup Lines Jokes

1. Are you Goliath’s forehead? Because you’re a head-turner!
2. Is your name Grace? Because you’ve been saving me all day!
3. Are you the burning bush? Because you’ve set my heart on fire!
4. Is this the Red Sea? Because when I see you, my heart parts!
5. Are you David’s slingshot? Because you’ve shot an arrow through my heart!
6. Is your name Eve? Because meeting you feels like paradise!
7. Are you Jericho? Because you’ve brought my walls down!
8. Is this the Garden of Eden? Because I’ve fallen for you!
9. Are you a mustard seed? Because you’ve got the potential to move mountains in my heart!
10. Is your name Ruth? Because I’d be honored to be your Boaz!
11. Are you the Ark of the Covenant? Because being with you feels like a divine journey!
12. Is your name Solomon? Because you’ve made my heart temple-ting!
13. Are you Samson? Because you’ve taken the strength from my knees!
14. Is your name Pharaoh? Because you’ve got me wandering in the desert of love!
15. Are you the Proverbs 31 woman? Because you’re worth far more than rubies!
16. Is your name Moses? Because every time I see you, I feel like I’m in the presence of something holy!
17. Are you a disciple? Because I’m ready to follow you wherever you go!
18. Is your name Jonah? Because you’ve swallowed my heart whole!
19. Are you the Bread of Life? Because I feel complete when I’m with you!
20. Is your name Joshua? Because you’ve made my heart march around yours!

Bible Charade Jokes

1. Charade: (Act out holding a baby and then pointing to the sky)
   Answer: Moses (Moses in the basket)
2. Charade: (Pretend to be fishing)
   Answer: Peter (Peter fishing for men)
3. Charade: (Walk in a circle with arms outstretched)
   Answer: Joshua (Joshua and the walls of Jericho)
4. Charade: (Pretend to be counting coins)
   Answer: Judas (Judas betraying Jesus for thirty pieces of silver)
5. Charade: (Crouch down and then spring up with arms stretched wide)
   Answer: Lazarus (Lazarus rising from the dead)
6. Charade: (Pretend to be writing on an imaginary tablet)
   Answer: Moses (Moses receiving the Ten Commandments)
7. Charade: (Pretend to be walking on water)
   Answer: Jesus (Jesus walking on water)
8. Charade: (Act like you’re picking up stones and putting them in a pouch)
   Answer: David (David gathering stones to face Goliath)
9. Charade: (Pretend to be planting seeds)
   Answer: Parable of the Sower (Sower sowing seeds)
10. Charade: (Hold hands in prayer position)
    Answer: Mary (Mary praying)
11. Charade: (Cup hands around mouth and shout)
    Answer: John the Baptist (John the Baptist preaching in the wilderness)
12. Charade: (Pretend to be climbing a ladder)
    Answer: Jacob (Jacob’s ladder dream)
13. Charade: (Pretend to be pouring oil over someone’s head)
    Answer: Anointing of David (David being anointed as king by Samuel)
14. Charade: (Pretend to be blowing a horn)
    Answer: Jericho (Jericho’s walls falling down after the trumpet blast)
15. Charade: (Pretend to be carrying a heavy burden on your back)
    Answer: Christian (Christian carrying his cross)
16. Charade: (Pretend to be spreading arms wide)
    Answer: Jesus (Jesus on the cross)
17. Charade: (Pretend to be sleeping, then wake up suddenly)
    Answer: Jonah (Jonah in the belly of the whale)
18. Charade: (Pretend to be pouring water from a jug)
    Answer: Baptism (Baptism of Jesus)
19. Charade: (Pretend to be hammering)
    Answer: Noah (Noah building the ark)
20. Charade: (Hold arms out as if embracing someone)
    Answer: Prodigal Son (Father welcoming back the prodigal son)

Bible OneLiners Jokes

1. When life gives you lemons, remember Jesus turned water into wine.
2. Love your neighbor as yourself, but don’t forget to love yourself too.
3. Faith can move mountains, but a good shovel helps too.
4. Forgive others as God forgives you, because holding grudges is heavy baggage.
5. Don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk… preferably on water.
6. God’s love is like Wi-Fi, available everywhere but you still need to connect.
7. Be a light in the world, but don’t blind others with your brightness.
8. Pray without ceasing, because God’s phone is never on silent.
9. Let your actions preach louder than your words, unless you’re John the Baptist.
10. Don’t just read the Bible, live it, because actions speak louder than scriptures.
11. Seek first the kingdom of God, but don’t forget to check Google Maps.
12. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, but don’t forget to lock your doors.
13. Turn the other cheek, but don’t forget to duck.
14. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, but don’t expect everyone to have read the manual.
15. God’s grace is sufficient, but a good cup of coffee doesn’t hurt.
16. Let your faith be bigger than your fears, but keep a flashlight handy in case of darkness.
17. Cast your burdens on the Lord, but don’t forget to stretch beforehand.
18. Be still and know that He is God, but also remember to breathe.
19. Build your house upon the rock, but check the zoning laws first.
20. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and even slower to post on social media.

Bible Quotes Jokes

1. “In the stillness of the night, God whispers His promises to those who listen.” – Psalm 46:10
2. “Like a gentle breeze, let kindness flow from your heart, for it carries the fragrance of heaven.” – Proverbs 11:25
3. “As stars adorn the night sky, let your good deeds illuminate the darkness of the world.” – Matthew 5:16
4. “In the garden of life, tend to the seeds of faith, for they shall blossom into miracles.” – Galatians 6:9
5. “Let gratitude be your song, echoing through the chambers of your soul, for every breath is a gift from above.” – Colossians 3:17
6. “As the river carves its path through the valleys, let forgiveness carve its way through the hardest hearts.” – Ephesians 4:32
7. “In the tapestry of existence, each soul is a thread woven by the hands of the Divine Artist.” – Psalm 139:13
8. “In the symphony of life, let love be your melody, for it resonates with the harmony of eternity.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13
9. “Like the morning dew kisses the earth, may God’s mercy refresh your spirit each day.” – Lamentations 3:22-23
10. “In the storm’s fury, find refuge in the Rock that stands unshaken against the winds of adversity.” – Psalm 18:2
11. “As the lilies of the field, trust in the provision of God, for He clothes them in splendor.” – Matthew 6:28-29
12. “In the wilderness of life’s trials, let faith be your compass, guiding you to the promised land.” – Hebrews 11:1
13. “Like a beacon on a hill, let your light shine brightly, guiding lost souls back to the Father’s embrace.” – Matthew 5:14
14. “In the garden of your heart, cultivate patience, for in due season, you shall reap a bountiful harvest.” – James 5:7
15. “As the stars adorn the heavens, so shall your descendants be, a testimony to God’s faithfulness.” – Genesis 15:5
16. “In the furnace of affliction, fear not, for the Refiner’s fire purifies gold, and you are His precious treasure.” – Isaiah 43:2
17. “Like a river that never runs dry, let your love flow freely, watering the parched souls of humanity.” – John 7:38
18. “In the wilderness of doubt, let the Word be your manna, sustaining you through the journey of faith.” – Deuteronomy 8:3
19. “As the eagle soars above the storm clouds, rise above adversity on the wings of hope.” – Isaiah 40:31
20. “In the silence of prayer, listen closely, for God’s voice whispers peace to the weary soul.” – Philippians 4:6-7

Bible Captions Jokes

1. When the heavens whispered secrets, and the stars learned to dance.
2. In the symphony of creation, the angels hummed melodies of eternity.
3. Where the rivers of faith converge, miracles carve their everlasting tales.
4. Amongst the petals of hope, a garden of divine dreams unfolded.
5. As dawn kissed the sacred scrolls, destiny penned its celestial prose.
6. Beneath the rainbow of promises, a covenant with the universe was etched.
7. When the moon weaved its silver threads, destiny’s loom spun tales of grace.
8. Through the corridors of time, echoes of compassion resonated.
9. When the sun embraced the horizon, faith painted the sky with hues of miracles.
10. Amidst the whispers of ancient trees, wisdom’s leaves fell, scribing truths.
11. As the seas bowed to the moon’s command, miracles surfed on waves of belief.
12. Within the book of existence, each heartbeat inscribed a chapter of love.
13. Where the mountains conversed with the heavens, echoes of blessings cascaded.
14. In the dance of seraphim, grace pirouetted through the realms of eternity.
15. When the silence of the desert spoke, the sands scripted tales of endurance.
16. Amidst the galaxies, constellations whispered promises to wandering souls.
17. Within the cathedral of compassion, stained glass windows told tales of redemption.
18. Beneath the quilt of stardust, dreams were woven into the fabric of reality.
19. As the phoenix rose from ashes, hope birthed anew in the furnace of trials.
20. When the universe held its breath, the symphony of creation played its final note.

Bible Puzzles & Riddles Jokes

1. What has keys but can’t open locks? (Answer: David’s harp)
2. I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have no body, but I come alive with the wind. What am I? (Answer: Burning bush)
3. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I? (Answer: Footsteps)
4. What has cities, but no houses; forests, but no trees; and rivers, but no water? (Answer: Bible)
5. What is so fragile that saying its name breaks it? (Answer: Silence)
6. What belongs to you, but other people use it more than you do? (Answer: Your name)
7. What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years? (Answer: The letter M)
8. What has a heart that doesn’t beat? (Answer: Artichoke)
9. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I? (Answer: Footsteps)
10. What has a head, a tail, is brown, and has no legs? (Answer: A penny)
11. I am taken from a mine, and shut up in a wooden case, from which I am never released, and yet I am used by almost every person. What am I? (Answer: Pencil lead)
12. I can be cracked, made, told, and played. What am I? (Answer: A joke)
13. What has many keys but opens no locks? (Answer: Piano)
14. What begins and has no end but is always going? (Answer: Time)
15. I am not alive, but I grow; I don’t have lungs, but I need air; I don’t have a mouth, but water kills me. What am I? (Answer: Fire)
16. I can fly without wings. I can cry without eyes. Wherever I go, darkness follows me. What am I? (Answer: Cloud)
17. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I? (Answer: Footsteps)
18. I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have no body, but I come alive with the wind. What am I? (Answer: Echo)
19. What has keys but can’t open locks? (Answer: Piano)
20. What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years? (Answer: The letter M)

1. I am the bread that came down from heaven, yet I am not made of wheat. What am I? (Answer: Manna)
2. I am carried by Noah yet cannot be seen. What am I? (Answer: Ark)
3. I am made of stone but hold the words of life within me. What am I? (Answer: Tablets of the Ten Commandments)
4. I am a sign of peace in the sky after the storm, yet I am not a rainbow. What am I? (Answer: Dove)
5. I am the voice crying in the wilderness, preparing the way. Who am I? (Answer: John the Baptist)
6. I am the forbidden fruit that brought knowledge yet caused downfall. What am I? (Answer: Apple from the Tree of Knowledge)
7. I am a vessel that held a prophet, yet I did not sink. What am I? (Answer: Whale)
8. I am the weapon of a giant, wielded by a shepherd boy. What am I? (Answer: Sling)
9. I am a stairway to heaven, seen in a dream. What am I? (Answer: Jacob’s Ladder)
10. I am the wall that fell at the sound of trumpets. What am I? (Answer: Walls of Jericho)
11. I am the animal that spoke to Balaam, yet I am not human. What am I? (Answer: Donkey)
12. I am the burning bush that was not consumed. What am I? (Answer: Bush)
13. I am the number of days and nights it rained during the flood. What am I? (Answer: Forty)
14. I am the symbol of betrayal, given for thirty pieces of silver. What am I? (Answer: Judas’ Kiss)
15. I am the shepherd’s tool that comforts, guides, and disciplines. What am I? (Answer: Staff)
16. I am the hand that wrote on the wall, spelling doom. Whose hand am I? (Answer: Belshazzar’s)
17. I am the crown made of thorns, placed on a king’s head. What am I? (Answer: Crown of Thorns)
18. I am the stone rolled away from the tomb. What am I? (Answer: Stone)
19. I am the vessel that carried the oil, never running dry. What am I? (Answer: Jar of Oil)
20. I am the garment woven without seams, cast by lots. What am I? (Answer: Seamless Tunic)

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