Flu

150+ Flu Humor : Jokes, Puns, Pickup-lines, Captions…

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150+ Flu Humor : Jokes, Puns, Pickup-lines, Captions…

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Flu Funny Best Jokes

  1. Why did the flu apply for a job? It wanted to work in a sick office!
  2. What did the flu say to the tissue? “You’re my best friend; we stick together!”
  3. How does the flu prefer to communicate? In cough drops!
  4. Why did the flu go to school? It wanted to be a well-educated virus!
  5. What did the flu do at the comedy club? It killed with its killer coughs!
  6. Why did the flu break up with the cold? It needed some space!
  7. How does the flu apologize? “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to viral!”
  8. What’s the flu’s favorite type of music? Sick beats!
  9. Why did the flu start a band? It wanted to go on a contagious tour!
  10. What’s the flu’s favorite TV show? “Breaking Immunity!”
  11. How does the flu keep its social distance? It sends text messages!
  12. What did the flu say to the fever? “Together, we can create a hot mess!”
  13. Why did the flu bring a ladder to the party? It heard the drinks were on the top shelf!
  14. How does the flu stay positive? It always looks on the bright side of life!
  15. What’s the flu’s favorite sport? Fever pitch!
  16. Why did the flu go to therapy? It needed to work on its emotional contagion!
  17. What’s the flu’s favorite subject in school? Pandemic studies!
  18. Why did the flu apply for a passport? It wanted to go on a world tour!
  19. How does the flu like its coffee? Contagiously strong!
  20. What did the flu say to the doctor? “I’m just here for my annual check-influenza!”

Flu Puns Jokes

  1. Why did the flu apply for a job? It wanted to work in a “sneeze-idential” position.
  2. What’s a flu’s favorite dance move? The “achoo-choo train.”
  3. Why did the flu go to therapy? It needed to talk about its “fever-ings.”
  4. What did the flu say to the tissues? “You’re my only ‘snot’stainer.”
  5. How does the flu take its coffee? With a “shot” of vitamin C.
  6. Why did the flu break up with the cold? It needed more “space-ium.”
  7. What’s the flu’s favorite instrument? The “cough”inet.
  8. Why did the flu go to the comedy club? It heard they had a killer “virus.”
  9. What do you call a flu that loves art? “Influ-ential.”
  10. How does the flu stay organized? It uses a “snotepad.”
  11. Why did the flu start a band? It wanted to spread its “conta-jams.”
  12. What’s the flu’s favorite game? “Fever-dream-catcher.”
  13. Why did the flu go to school? It wanted to be a “straight-A-chewer.”
  14. What’s a flu’s favorite genre of music? “Infectious beats.”
  15. How did the flu apologize? It said, “I made a ‘snot’-stake.”
  16. Why did the flu become a chef? It wanted to cook up some “soupy” surprises.
  17. What did the flu say to the body? “I’m just here for the ‘sick’-le cell.”
  18. Why did the flu go to space? It wanted to be an “astro-nose-mer.”
  19. What’s the flu’s favorite movie? “The Contagion Games.”
  20. Why did the flu go to the party? It heard it was going to be a “fever” pitch.

Flu Pickup Lines Jokes

  1. Are you a virus? Because you’ve infected my heart with feverish love.
  2. Is your name Influenza? Because you’ve got me feeling contagious.
  3. Are you a flu shot? Because meeting you is my best defense against loneliness.
  4. Is your name H1N1? Because you’re one hot number.
  5. Are you a cough drop? Because you’ve got me feeling better instantly.
  6. Is this love or just a symptom of being around you? Either way, I’m hooked.
  7. Are you the flu season? Because I can’t resist catching feelings for you.
  8. Is your touch as infectious as the flu? Because I can’t get enough.
  9. Are you a high fever? Because you’re making me sweat in the best way.
  10. Is your smile the vaccine? Because it’s protecting me from a bad day.
  11. Are you a quarantine zone? Because I never want to leave your side.
  12. Is this love or did I just catch the flu from your contagious charm?
  13. Are you a flu remedy? Because being with you is the best cure for anything.
  14. Is your love like a flu shot? Because I want it every year for the rest of my life.
  15. Are you a sneeze? Because you came out of nowhere, but now I can’t stop thinking about you.
  16. Is your name Antiviral? Because you’re sweeping away all my doubts and worries.
  17. Are you a symptom or the cure? Because being around you feels like both.
  18. Is your touch like a flu vaccine? Because I feel protected and invincible with you.
  19. Are you the flu? Because I can’t resist catching feelings for you every season.
  20. Is your love like a flu strain? Because it’s mutating into something even more amazing.

Flu Charade Jokes

  1. Flapping Penguin
  2. Sneezing Confetti
  3. Shivering Eskimo
  4. Twirling Thermometer
  5. Hula Hoop Fever
  6. Spinning Top Infection
  7. Juggling Tissues
  8. Magnetic Chills
  9. Feverish Flamenco
  10. Ski Slope Shivers
  11. Mime with a Runny Nose
  12. Human Thermometer Dance
  13. Sick Karate Chop
  14. Freezing Firewalker
  15. Breakdance with the Flu
  16. Whirling Dervish of Discomfort
  17. Shaky Tightrope Walker
  18. Glow-in-the-Dark Sneeze
  19. Funky Chicken Fever
  20. Robot with the Chills

Flu OneLiners Jokes

  1. Why did the flu apply for a job? It wanted to go viral!
  2. What did the flu say to the cold? “You’re a chill companion.”
  3. Flu’s favorite dance move? The contagion cha-cha.
  4. Why did the flu go to school? It wanted to be a “class” act!
  5. How does the flu communicate? Through sneeze-mail!
  6. What’s the flu’s favorite genre of music? Sick beats!
  7. Flu’s favorite superhero? Captain Contagious!
  8. Why did the flu break up with the common cold? It needed space.
  9. Flu’s workout routine? Feverish fitness!
  10. What did the flu say to the body? “I’m just here for the warmth.”
  11. Flu’s favorite vacation spot? Bed-rest Beach!
  12. Why did the flu start a band? It wanted to make people feel under the weather!
  13. Flu’s favorite board game? Pandemicopoly!
  14. What’s the flu’s pick-up line? “Do you have a tissue? Because I’ve caught feelings.”
  15. Why did the flu go to the comedy club? It wanted to spread some laughter!
  16. Flu’s favorite social media platform? Fevergram!
  17. What did the flu say after a workout? “I’m feeling feverishly fit!”
  18. Why did the flu start a gardening club? It wanted to plant the seeds of illness!
  19. Flu’s favorite movie? “The Contagion Chronicles!”
  20. What’s the flu’s favorite hobby? Making people cancel plans!

Flu Quotes Jokes

  1. 1. “Influenza: the only party where the guests are unwelcome and the fever is the life of the bash.”
  2. 2. “When the flu knocks, resilience opens the door with a tissue and a cup of chicken soup.”
  3. 3. “Flu season: the annual drama where tissues play the lead role, and coughs compose the soundtrack.”
  4. 4. “If sneezing were an Olympic sport, flu season would be the ultimate training ground.”
  5. 5. “In the dance of viruses, the flu has mastered the art of the feverish tango.”
  6. 6. “Flu bugs: the uninvited micro-guests crashing the cellular party in your immune system.”
  7. 7. “Fighting the flu is like playing chess with a microscopic opponent – checkmate requires lots of rest.”
  8. 8. “Flu season: the time of year when hot tea becomes a superhero, and blankets transform into capes.”
  9. 9. “In the symphony of sickness, the flu hits the high notes of coughs and the low notes of fatigue.”
  10. 10. “Flu viruses are like mischievous artists, painting the canvas of your immune system in shades of chills and aches.”
  11. 11. “Battling the flu is a solo mission where the only victory is a good night’s sleep.”
  12. 12. “When the flu comes knocking, fortify your defenses with Vitamin C and a fortress of blankets.”
  13. 13. “Flu season: where tissues are the currency, and the stock market is the pharmacy.”
  14. 14. “In the saga of sickness, the flu is the unexpected plot twist that nobody asked for.”
  15. 15. “Flu viruses: the microscopic comedians delivering punchlines of coughs and punch-ups of fevers.”
  16. 16. “When life gives you flu, make a hot toddy and turn the page to recovery.”
  17. 17. “Flu season is the annual marathon where the finish line is a bed, and the medal is a thermometer.”
  18. 18. “In the kingdom of health, the flu is the rebellious jester, playing pranks on your immune system.”
  19. 19. “Flu fighters unite: where tissues become shields, and soup becomes the elixir of wellness.”
  20. 20. “The flu: a microscopic drama with a plot twist that leaves you wrapped in blankets and longing for health.”

Flu Captions Jokes

Flu Puzzles & Riddles Jokes

  1. What has feathers, but catches the flu faster than any bird?
  2. Answer: A sneeze.

  3. Which letter of the alphabet is the most contagious?
  4. Answer: The letter “C.”

  5. What is a germ’s favorite type of music?
  6. Answer: Rock and sneeze.

  7. Why did the virus go to school?
  8. Answer: To improve its spread-ing skills.

  9. What’s a vampire’s least favorite type of flu?
  10. Answer: The coffin flu.

  11. What do you call a sick computer?
  12. Answer: A byte infection.

  13. How does the flu send messages?
  14. Answer: By email-ments.

  15. Why did the flu apply for a job?
  16. Answer: It wanted to work in a host environment.

  17. What did the flu say to the tissue?
  18. Answer: “Catch me if you can!”

  19. Why did the flu break up with the cold?
  20. Answer: It needed space.

  21. What did one flu virus say to another?
  22. Answer: “Let’s stick together!”

  23. What do you call a sick snake?
  24. Answer: A hiss-teria.

  25. Why did the flu go to therapy?
  26. Answer: It had too many issues.

  27. What’s a germ’s favorite board game?
  28. Answer: Contagionopoly.

  29. How did the flu get in shape?
  30. Answer: It had a fever workout.

  31. What did the flu virus major in at university?
  32. Answer: Microbiology.

  33. Why did the flu bring a ladder to the party?
  34. Answer: It heard the drinks were on the top shelf.

  35. What’s a germ’s favorite movie?
  36. Answer: The Contagion Games.

  37. How does the flu keep in touch with friends?
  38. Answer: Through a viral network.

  39. Why did the flu apply for a loan?
  40. Answer: It wanted to buy some tissues on credit.

  1. What invisible villain dances in the air, making you shiver and cough with flair?
  2. I’m a tiny intruder, a microscopic spy, causing chaos when I invade, oh my! What am I?
  3. I’m not a feather, but I make you sneeze; catch me if you can, spreading with ease. What plague am I?
  4. I come in waves, a seasonal tide; with fever and chills, I love to hide. Guess my name.
  5. Whispering through the wind, I attack without a trace, leaving you weak and bed-bound. What’s my case?
  6. Not a cold, nor a case of the sniffles, I’m a viral storm, playing with your cells like riddles. Identify me.
  7. Wrapped in a cloak of contagion, I travel unseen, bringing a symphony of symptoms. Who am I?
  8. Like a stealthy ninja, I strike when you least expect, turning a bustling health into a chaotic wreck. Identify the ninja.
  9. I wear an invisible crown, ruling over your immune town, causing chaos and dismay. What am I?
  10. Not a breeze, yet I travel the air, infecting all in my viral affair. What microscopic entity am I?
  11. With a touch of fever and a sprinkle of ache, I invade your body, causing a viral quake. Who am I?
  12. Like a microscopic orchestra conductor, I orchestrate your body’s feverish symphony. Name me.
  13. Invisible but not invincible, I infiltrate your defenses, leaving you in a viral suspense. Identify me.
  14. Not a bug, but a microscopic foe, I bring discomfort wherever I go. What’s my name?
  15. With a touch of fatigue and a hint of sore, I knock on your body’s immune door. Guess who?
  16. I’m not a guest, but I stay uninvited, turning health into a state, fevered and blighted. What am I?
  17. Like a viral detective, I search for a host, making you feel like you’re the one I love the most. Identify me.
  18. Not a breeze, yet I travel with ease, causing a storm of symptoms to tease. What’s my identity?
  19. I’m a microscopic traveler, a viral jet-setter, leaving a trail of symptoms that make you feel wetter. Who am I?
  20. Wrapped in a cloak of contagion, I spread through the air, turning health into a state of despair. Identify the culprit.

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