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Funny Funny Best Jokes

1. Why did the scarecrow become a successful stand-up comedian? Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
4. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
5. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
6. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange!
7. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
8. What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
9. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
10. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
11. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
12. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
13. Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes of emotional baggage!
14. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
15. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumbly!
16. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
17. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
18. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
19. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
20. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!

Funny Puns Jokes

1. Why did the scarecrow become a successful motivational speaker? Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads. It’s on a rest-and-digest mode.
3. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
4. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
5. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
6. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
7. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
8. What did one plate say to another? Tonight, dinner’s on me!
9. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
10. Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long!
11. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
12. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
13. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
14. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
15. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
16. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
17. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish!
18. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well!
19. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
20. What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around; I’ll go on ahead!

Funny Pickup Lines Jokes

1. Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears, and I’m left wondering if you stole my snacks.
2. Do you have a name, or can I call you mine until I forget it in approximately 5 minutes?
3. If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
4. Are you a Wi-Fi signal? Because I’m feeling a strong connection, or maybe it’s just the caffeine.
5. Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’ve been searching for, including a tendency to overthink.
6. Excuse me, but I think you dropped something: MY JAW!
7. Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes, and my GPS is on strike.
8. If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity, and I’d still be fashionably late.
9. Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you… and also, I’m kinda clumsy.
10. Is this the Hogwarts Express? Because it feels like you and I are headed somewhere magical, or maybe it’s just public transportation.
11. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? And maybe again, just to be sure.
12. Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te, and I think I need a periodic table to keep up with you.
13. Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you, and I’m not just talking about the ticket.
14. Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot? And if it’s a sunburn, can I offer you some aloe and terrible jokes?
15. If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print because you’re a deal too good to be true.
16. Are you a camera? Because every time I see you, I smile, and I’m pretty sure my selfie game just got an upgrade.
17. Do you have a name or can I call you mine? Or maybe I should just call you by your actual name because that’s less creepy.
18. Excuse me, but I think you dropped something: MY JAW! Oh wait, I already used that one. Guess I’m just jaw-droppingly unoriginal.
19. Is your name Ariel? Because we mermaid for each other, or at least that’s what my fishy fortune teller told me.
20. Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot? And if it’s a sunburn, can I offer you some aloe and terrible jokes?

Funny Charade Jokes

1. Mime trying to assemble an IKEA furniture
2. Ninja sloppily eating spaghetti
3. Penguin on a hot beach
4. Zombie doing the cha-cha
5. Gorilla doing a stand-up comedy routine
6. Kangaroo attempting to breakdance
7. Robot falling in love
8. Surfer riding imaginary waves in the living room
9. Ballet-dancing elephant
10. T-Rex trying to type on a computer keyboard
11. Astronaut getting tangled in their own space suit
12. Cowboy herding invisible cattle
13. Sumo wrestler doing a graceful ballet leap
14. Octopus trying to juggle eight items at once
15. Superhero with a fear of heights
16. Chef preparing an invisible gourmet meal
17. Rockstar playing air guitar with enthusiasm
18. Mime stuck in an invisible box
19. Dinosaur doing yoga
20. Clown getting a surprise birthday present

Funny OneLiners Jokes

1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
3. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
5. Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes of emotional baggage.
6. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
7. Why did the scarecrow become a successful motivational speaker? He was outstanding in his field.
8. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!
9. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
10. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
11. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
12. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
13. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
14. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
15. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
16. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
17. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
18. Why did the scarecrow become a successful motivational speaker? He was outstanding in his field.
19. Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes of emotional baggage.

Funny Quotes Jokes

Funny Captions Jokes

1. Attempting to make a salad, but the vegetables are on strike.
2. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
3. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
4. Asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
5. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
6. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
7. My wife told me I should embrace my mistakes. So, I hugged her.
8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
9. Went to a seafood disco last night. Pulled a mussel.
10. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
11. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
12. My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I had to take his bike away.
13. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
14. Parallel lines have so much in common. Too bad they’ll never know.
15. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
16. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
17. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
18. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
19. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
20. My wife told me I should embrace my mistakes. So, I hugged her.

Funny Puzzles & Riddles Jokes

1. What has keys but can’t open locks?
2. Why did the math book look sad?
3. What starts with “t” ends with “t” and is full of “t”?
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
5. What has a heart that doesn’t beat?
6. What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
7. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
8. What has cities but no houses, forests but no trees, and rivers but no water?
9. What has a bed but never sleeps?
10. Why did the tomato turn red?
11. What has ears but cannot hear?
12. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
13. What has a heart that doesn’t beat?
14. Why did the bicycle fall over?
15. What belongs to you but other people use it more than you do?
16. Why did the computer go to therapy?
17. What has a bottom at the top?
18. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
19. What can travel around the world while staying in a corner?
20. Why did the chicken join a band?

1. What has keys but can’t open locks? Answer: A piano.
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Answer: Because he was outstanding in his field.
3. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Answer: Nacho cheese.
4. Why did the bicycle fall over? Answer: Because it was two-tired.
5. What’s brown and sticky? Answer: A stick.
6. How does a penguin build its house? Answer: Igloos it together.
7. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? Answer: They don’t have the guts.
8. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? Answer: A carrot.
9. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Answer: Because they make up everything.
10. How do you organize a space party? Answer: You planet.
11. What did one hat say to the other? Answer: Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
12. Why did the tomato turn red? Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.
13. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Answer: A blood orange.
14. Why did the math book look sad? Answer: Because it had too many problems.
15. What do you call fake spaghetti? Answer: An impasta.
16. Why did the computer go to therapy? Answer: It had too many bytes of emotional baggage.
17. How do you catch a squirrel? Answer: Climb a tree and act like a nut.
18. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Answer: Nothing, they just waved.
19. Why did the chicken go to the seance? Answer: To talk to the other side.
20. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Answer: Fsh.

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