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Humerus Funny Best Jokes

1. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had nobody to go with!
2. What did the femur say to the patella? “I kneed you!”
3. Why did the skeleton bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
5. What do you call a skeleton who won’t work? Lazy bones!
6. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? To get a spare rib!
7. How do you mend a broken jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch!
8. Why did the ghost go to the party? He heard it was going to be a scream!
9. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
10. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine!
11. Why did Dracula become a vegetarian? Because stakes were too high!
12. Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind!
13. What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist!
14. Why did the ghost go to the doctor? Because he had a coffin!
15. Why did the ghost break up with her boyfriend? He kept saying, “I’m not your boo!”
16. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the stomach for it!
17. Why did the zombie go to school? He wanted to improve his “deaducation”!
18. Why did the vampire get a job in a blood bank? He wanted to make a withdrawal!
19. Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop!
20. What did the skeleton say before eating dinner? “Bone appétit!”

Humerus Puns Jokes

1. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
2. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
3. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? There was nothing left but de-brie!
4. My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast!
5. Why don’t skeletons play music in church? Because they have no organs!
6. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads. It’s become a real beach!
7. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
8. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
9. Why don’t bicycles stand up by themselves? They’re two-tired!
10. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
11. My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I had to take his bike away!
12. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek competition, but it’s hard to find good players. They’re always hiding!
13. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
14. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
15. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
16. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the stomach for it!
17. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
18. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
19. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up!
20. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!

Humerus Pickup Lines Jokes

1. Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears, just like my ulna and radius!
2. Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes, and I need to find my way back to your funny bone.
3. Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te, just like the skeleton key to my heart.
4. Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’ve been searching for, including a sense of humor!
5. Excuse me, but I think you dropped something: my jaw!
6. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again with my ribcage showing?
7. Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you and measure your decay rate over time.
8. Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you. And also, I’m a skeleton, so it’s a bit messy.
9. Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?
10. If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber!
11. Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot, like a fever-induced hallucination?
12. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection, and I’m not just talking about my joints!
13. Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more of you!
14. Do you have a twin? No? Well, then you must be one-of-a-kind, just like my funny bone!
15. Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful, just like my skeletal system!
16. Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?
17. If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber!
18. Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot, like a fever-induced hallucination?
19. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection, and I’m not just talking about my joints!
20. Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more of you!

Humerus Charade Jokes

1. Playing air guitar on a unicycle – “Unicycling Rockstar”
2. Being a ninja trying to catch a fly with chopsticks – “Stealthy Fly Hunter”
3. Trying to dance the Macarena while wearing scuba gear – “Underwater Macarena”
4. Milking a cow while riding a mechanical bull – “Rodeo Dairy Farmer”
5. Pretending to be a mime stuck in an invisible box – “Invisible Box Mime”
6. Doing a handstand while juggling watermelons – “Upside-Down Watermelon Juggler”
7. Walking a tightrope while balancing a flamingo on your head – “Flamingo Tightrope Walker”
8. Doing ballet in a sumo wrestler costume – “Sumo Ballet Dancer”
9. Trying to eat spaghetti with chopsticks while blindfolded – “Blindfolded Spaghetti Challenge”
10. Performing interpretive dance as a confused penguin – “Lost Penguin Interpretation”
11. Attempting to hula hoop with a snake – “Snake Charmer Hoop Dancer”
12. Trying to paint a masterpiece while riding a mechanical bull – “Bucking Bull Artist”
13. Trying to parallel park a monster truck – “Monster Truck Parking Challenge”
14. Doing yoga poses while wearing a gorilla suit – “Gorilla Yoga Master”
15. Trying to catch a butterfly with a fishing net while riding a scooter – “Scooter Butterfly Hunter”
16. Playing the accordion while riding a pogo stick – “Pogo Stick Accordionist”
17. Doing a magic trick while skydiving – “Skydiving Magician”
18. Playing hopscotch on a unicycle – “Unicycle Hopscotcher”
19. Trying to do a cartwheel while wearing flippers – “Flipper Cartwheeler”
20. Attempting to breakdance on stilts – “Stilt Breakdancer”

Humerus OneLiners Jokes

1. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads. It’s become a real beach!
2. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
3. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the stomach for it!
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
6. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
7. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up!
8. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
9. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
10. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
11. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
12. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
13. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
14. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
15. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
16. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
17. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
18. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the stomach for it!
19. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
20. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!

Humerus Quotes Jokes

1. “I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
2. “I’m not short, I’m fun-sized.”
3. “I’m not clumsy, I’m just testing gravity.”
4. “I’m not aging, I’m just increasing in value like fine wine.”
5. “I’m not procrastinating, I’m marinating in my thoughts.”
6. “I’m not lost, I’m exploring alternative routes.”
7. “I’m not talking to myself, I’m just having a board meeting with my brain.”
8. “I’m not forgetful, I’m just creating space for new memories.”
9. “I’m not a klutz, I’m a professional at unintentional acrobatics.”
10. “I’m not ignoring you, I’m practicing the ancient art of selective hearing.”
11. “I’m not a night owl, I’m a midnight philosopher.”
12. “I’m not late, I’m just fashionably challenged by time.”
13. “I’m not a mess, I’m a masterpiece in progress.”
14. “I’m not addicted to coffee, I’m just in a committed relationship with caffeine.”
15. “I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.”
16. “I’m not awkward, I’m just uniquely gifted in social reinterpretation.”
17. “I’m not indecisive, I’m just exploring all the options.”
18. “I’m not breaking the rules, I’m just challenging their existence.”
19. “I’m not talking to imaginary friends, I’m networking with alternate realities.”
20. “I’m not eccentric, I’m authentically offbeat.”

Humerus Captions Jokes

1. “Just casually outrunning a snail marathon.”
2. “When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave everyone wondering.”
3. “I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
4. “Currently accepting applications for a personal sunshine carrier.”
5. “If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.”
6. “Dressed to impress the aliens.”
7. “I’m not clumsy, I’m just testing gravity… frequently.”
8. “Attempting to solve a Rubik’s cube with my eyes closed because why not?”
9. “Eating cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.”
10. “In a relationship with coffee, sorry humans.”
11. “Just over here, pretending to understand quantum physics.”
12. “Browsing the internet for a life upgrade, preferably with free shipping.”
13. “Fighting off Monday with a lightsaber made of sarcasm.”
14. “I don’t always procrastinate, but when I do, I prefer to do it later.”
15. “Trying to parallel park my thoughts.”
16. “Attempting to multitask: drinking coffee and pretending to listen.”
17. “Dancing like nobody’s watching, because they’re not, they’re checking their phones.”
18. “Hiding from responsibilities like a pro.”
19. “Collecting dust bunnies for a future art project.”
20. “Just practicing my ninja moves in case the opportunity arises.”

Humerus Puzzles & Riddles Jokes

1. Puzzle: What has keys but can’t open locks?
   Answer: A piano.
2. Puzzle: What is full of holes but still holds water?
   Answer: A sponge.
3. Puzzle: What can travel around the world while staying in a corner?
   Answer: A stamp.
4. Puzzle: What gets wetter as it dries?
   Answer: A towel.
5. Puzzle: What has a neck but no head?
   Answer: A bottle.
6. Puzzle: What has teeth but can’t bite?
   Answer: A comb.
7. Puzzle: What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
   Answer: The future.
8. Puzzle: What has a thumb and four fingers but isn’t alive?
   Answer: A glove.
9. Puzzle: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
   Answer: The letter ‘M’.
10. Puzzle: What goes up but never comes down?
    Answer: Your age.
11. Puzzle: What has one eye but can’t see?
    Answer: A needle.
12. Puzzle: What has many keys but can’t open a single lock?
    Answer: A keyboard.
13. Puzzle: What is so fragile that saying its name breaks it?
    Answer: Silence.
14. Puzzle: What is as light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold it for long?
    Answer: Breath.
15. Puzzle: What belongs to you but others use it more than you do?
    Answer: Your name.
16. Puzzle: What runs but never walks, murmurs but never talks, has a bed but never sleeps?
    Answer: A river.
17. Puzzle: What has keys that open no locks, space but no room, and you can enter but not go inside?
    Answer: A keyboard.
18. Puzzle: What can you break without touching it?
    Answer: A promise.
19. Puzzle: What comes down but never goes up?
    Answer: Rain.
20. Puzzle: What has a head, a tail, but no body?
    Answer: A coin.

1. What do you call a skeleton who is afraid to go to the party? Answer: A scaredy-bone!
2. What do you call a ghost’s favorite dessert? Answer: Boo-berry pie!
3. What room can a ghost not enter? Answer: The living room!
4. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? Answer: To get another rib!
5. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Answer: Frostbite!
6. What did the mummy say to the detective? Answer: Let’s wrap this case up!
7. Why was the math book sad? Answer: Because it had too many problems!
8. What did one ghost say to the other ghost? Answer: “Do you believe in people?”
9. Why did the ghost go to the party? Answer: Because he heard it was going to be a scream!
10. Why did the vampire read the newspaper? Answer: Because he heard it had great circulation!
11. Why was the skeleton so good at karate? Answer: Because he had a lot of backbone!
12. What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? Answer: Boo-boos!
13. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Answer: It was two-tired!
14. What did the skeleton say to the bartender? Answer: I’ll have a beer and a mop, please!
15. What did the ghost say to the other ghost? Answer: “Do you believe in people?”
16. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? Answer: They don’t have the guts!
17. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Answer: Because he was outstanding in his field!
18. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Answer: In case he got a hole in one!
19. Why did the chicken join a band? Answer: Because it had the drumsticks!
20. Why did the tomato turn red? Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing!

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