Inappropriate Funny Best Jokes
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including excuses for inappropriate behavior.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, just like that inappropriate comment at a formal dinner.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta, much like a fake apology for an inappropriate remark.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts, just like those who make inappropriate jokes at funerals.
- What did one hat say to the other? “You stay here; I’ll go on ahead.” Just like leaving a conversation after an inappropriate comment.
- Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish, just like those who hoard the spotlight with inappropriate stories.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing, much like someone witnessing an inappropriate public display of affection.
- What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved, much like ignoring inappropriate advances.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired, much like trying to stand up after laughing at an inappropriate joke.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”—a surprise that’s about as welcome as an inappropriate prank.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one, just like needing a backup plan after an inappropriate wardrobe malfunction.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts, just like those who make inappropriate jokes during job interviews.
- Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems, just like a conversation plagued by inappropriate comments.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain, much like a group chat filled with inappropriate cat memes.
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field, just like that inappropriate flirt at a medical conference.
- What did one hat say to the other? “You stay here; I’ll go on ahead.” Just like leaving a conversation after an inappropriate comment.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts, just like those who make inappropriate jokes during a wedding ceremony.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired, much like trying to stand up after laughing at an inappropriate joke during a lecture.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one, just like needing a backup plan after making an inappropriate comment during a date.
- Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems, just like a discussion tainted by inappropriate humor during a study group.
Inappropriate Puns Jokes
- Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field… of inappropriate jokes.
- Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in-tents, just like the discomfort caused by inappropriate puns.
- Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants in an inappropriate manner.
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine, much like someone at an inappropriate funeral.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything, including excuses for inappropriate behavior.
- What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire. Just like the difference between appropriate and inappropriate attire.
- Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing, just like witnessing an inappropriate public display of affection.
- Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems, much like a conversation with too many inappropriate jokes.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired, just like trying to stand up after laughing at an inappropriate joke.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts, just like those who make inappropriate jokes during job interviews.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one, just like needing a backup plan after an inappropriate comment.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”—a surprise that’s about as welcome as an inappropriate prank.
- Why don’t oysters donate to charity? They’re shellfish, just like those who hoard the spotlight with inappropriate stories.
- Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him, much like someone who’s been left alone after an inappropriate comment.
- What did the sushi say to the bee? “Wassabee?”—a question as awkward as an inappropriate pun.
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field, just like that inappropriate flirt at a medical conference.
- What did one hat say to the other? “You stay here; I’ll go on ahead.” Just like leaving a conversation after an inappropriate comment.
- Why don’t skeletons play music in church? Because they have no organs, just like those who lack sensitivity to inappropriate contexts.
- Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing, just like witnessing an inappropriate public display of affection.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, just like that inappropriate comment at a formal dinner.
Inappropriate Pickup Lines Jokes
- Are you a bank loan? Because you have my interest and I’d like to default on my repayment.
- Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for, including a restraining order.
- Are you a fire alarm? Because you’re loud, obnoxious, and I want to rip you off the ceiling.
- Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears, and I end up with a restraining order.
- Do you have a name or can I call you mine before the court hearing?
- Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout and I have a thing for broken noses.
- Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “fine” written all over you, and I’ll probably just ignore you until it gets worse.
- Are you a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns and I’d like to eat them inappropriately.
- Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes and then slapped with a restraining order.
- Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want to roast marshmallows on you… and then get kicked out of the park for public indecency.
- Are you a dictionary? Because you add meaning to my life, like explaining to the judge why I need a restraining order lifted.
- Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m really feeling a connection here, and I’m about to get blocked.
- Are you a library book? Because I can’t stop checking you out, and I’ll probably return you with some pages stuck together.
- Are you a smoke alarm? Because you’re annoying and I’m tempted to take the battery out.
- Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again so you can call the cops?
- Are you a bank? Because you’ve been making regular deposits in my thoughts, and now I’m overdrawn on my sanity.
- Is your name Ariel? Because we mermaid for each other, and I’m about to be banned from SeaWorld for harassment.
- Are you a museum? Because you truly are a work of art, and I’m about to get banned for inappropriate touching.
- Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile… and then get a restraining order in the mail.
- Are you a unicorn? Because I’ve never seen anything as magical as you, and I’m about to get a restraining order from the fairy princess society.
Inappropriate Charade Jokes
- Charade: Pretend to be vigorously applying sunscreen.
Answer: Masturbation. - Charade: Act like you’re trying to discreetly adjust something in your pants.
Answer: Wedgie. - Charade: Mime frantically swatting at invisible bugs.
Answer: Having a private moment. - Charade: Pretend to be vigorously shaking a bottle of soda.
Answer: Trying to hold in a fart. - Charade: Act like you’re vigorously scrubbing your hands with soap.
Answer: Washing away evidence. - Charade: Mime trying to remove something stuck between your teeth.
Answer: Picking your nose. - Charade: Act like you’re struggling to hold onto something heavy and shaking it.
Answer: Trying to pee with morning wood. - Charade: Mime struggling to zip up a tight pair of pants.
Answer: Trying to squeeze into skinny jeans. - Charade: Pretend to be vigorously digging in a small confined space.
Answer: Picking a wedgie. - Charade: Act like you’re trying to discreetly scratch an itch in an awkward spot.
Answer: Adjusting your underwear in public. - Charade: Mime trying to untangle a stubborn knot.
Answer: Trying to remove a stuck condom. - Charade: Pretend to be repeatedly checking your phone in a panicked manner.
Answer: Making sure you didn’t accidentally send an embarrassing text to the wrong person. - Charade: Act like you’re trying to subtly readjust your sitting position.
Answer: Shifting to relieve a wedgie. - Charade: Mime vigorously shaking a can of whipped cream.
Answer: Preparing for a whipped cream bikini contest. - Charade: Pretend to be vigorously wiping down a surface.
Answer: Cleaning up spilled bodily fluids. - Charade: Act like you’re struggling to pull something out of a tight space.
Answer: Trying to remove a tampon. - Charade: Mime trying to discreetly scratch an itch on your backside.
Answer: Scratching your butt. - Charade: Pretend to be frantically patting yourself down.
Answer: Checking for leakage. - Charade: Act like you’re struggling to untangle a mess of wires.
Answer: Removing a particularly tangled hair from your nether regions. - Charade: Mime desperately trying to shove something into a too-small container.
Answer: Putting on too-tight underwear.
Inappropriate OneLiners Jokes
- My love life is like a rollercoaster: thrilling, nauseating, and ultimately disappointing for anyone involved.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it caught me checking out its juicy curves.
- My flirting game is as subtle as a sledgehammer in a china shop: clumsy, destructive, and likely to get me banned from polite society.
- They say laughter is the best medicine, which explains why I’m banned from pharmacies for my inappropriate jokes.
- My sense of timing is impeccable; unfortunately, it’s always timed perfectly to ruin the moment.
- My dating life is like a bad movie: predictable, cringe-worthy, and nobody wants to see the sequel.
- I’m not a photographer, but I can definitely picture you and me together… in a courtroom, facing a harassment lawsuit.
- If I were a vegetable, I’d be a cucumber, because let’s face it, I’m cool, refreshing, and good for more than just salads.
- They say honesty is the best policy, which is why I’m about to be escorted out for my brutally honest Tinder bio.
- I’m not saying I’m a proctologist, but I definitely have a knack for finding the assholes in any given situation.
- They say love is blind, which explains why I keep stumbling into inappropriate relationships.
- I’m not a meteorologist, but I can definitely predict a 100% chance of awkwardness whenever I open my mouth.
- They say time heals all wounds, which is great, because I’m going to need a lot of time to recover from that rejection.
- My love life is like a game of chess: it starts with high hopes and strategic moves, but ultimately ends with me knocked over and defeated.
- They say beauty is only skin deep, which explains why I’m banned from cosmetic surgery clinics.
- I’m not a baker, but I can definitely make your buns rise… inappropriately.
- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together… and then promptly get a restraining order.
- They say good things come to those who wait, which is why I’m still waiting for my karma to catch up with me.
- I’m not a doctor, but I can definitely make your heart race… and then worry about potential cardiac issues.
- They say you should always leave them wanting more, which explains why I’m always asked to leave parties prematurely.
Inappropriate Quotes Jokes
- “Life is like a box of chocolates: you never know which one will give you diabetes… or an inappropriate sugar rush.”
- “Love is blind, but lust has 20/20 vision and a pair of binoculars.”
- “They say laughter is the best medicine, but I prefer tequila shots and questionable decisions.”
- “Some people bring happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go… especially after an inappropriate incident.”
- “The early bird catches the worm, but the late-night owl catches the questionable Snapchat stories.”
- “Behind every successful person is a lot of coffee, sleepless nights, and a browser history you’d never want your parents to see.”
- “Dance like nobody’s watching, love like you’ve never been hurt, and sext like it’s being screen-captured.”
- “Life’s too short to wear boring underwear… or to send dull nudes.”
- “Happiness is not having to set an alarm for the next day… until you realize you missed your flight because you overslept.”
- “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself… and accidentally liking someone’s Instagram post from 72 weeks ago.”
- “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but it’s also in the hands of the plastic surgeon.”
- “Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a yacht big enough to sail away from your problems… until the Coast Guard catches up with you.”
- “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans… and accidentally sending a risky text to your boss instead of your significant other.”
- “To err is human, to forgive is divine, and to accidentally reply-all with an inappropriate gif is downright embarrassing.”
- “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about… unless it’s by your therapist during a court-ordered session.”
- “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it’s the courage to continue that counts… and a good lawyer.”
- “The road to hell is paved with good intentions… and questionable Google search history.”
- “Life is a journey, not a destination… but sometimes, it feels like a never-ending layover in a sketchy airport.”
- “Age is just a number, but maturity is definitely a questionable variable.”
- “The best way to predict the future is to create it… or to read your ex’s horoscope and hope they’re cursed with bad luck.”
Inappropriate Captions Jokes
- “Just a casual stroll… through my ex’s browser history.”
- “Feeling cute, might delete later… along with my browser history.”
- “Slaying the game… and accidentally sending nudes to the wrong group chat.”
- “Living my best life… one questionable decision at a time.”
- “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade… spiked with vodka and poor life choices.”
- “Sun’s out, buns out… and now the neighbors are filing a noise complaint.”
- “Chasing dreams… and dodging restraining orders.”
- “Stay classy, never trashy… except on weekends.”
- “Living in the moment… and hoping nobody screenshots it.”
- “Be yourself, everyone else is taken… and I’m still waiting for my bail hearing.”
- “Dress for the job you want, not the one you have… unless you want to be fired.”
- “Life’s too short to be anything but happy… and a little bit naughty.”
- “Embrace the chaos… and hope the security camera footage gets deleted.”
- “Making memories… that will haunt me in therapy.”
- “Taking risks… and blaming it on tequila.”
- “Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn… then always be a unicorn, especially at the office.”
- “Inhale confidence, exhale doubt… and accidentally inhale a bug in the process.”
- “Follow your dreams… unless your dreams involve a questionable back alley.”
- “Life is short, buy the shoes… and then spend the night regretting it.”
- “Blessed and grateful… for the delete button.”
Inappropriate Puzzles & Riddles Jokes
- Puzzle: I start with a “P” and end with “ORN”, and I’m a major turn on. What am I?
Answer: Popcorn. - Puzzle: I have a stiff shaft, a pointed head, and I go in and out of holes. What am I?
Answer: A golf club. - Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and filled with white cream. What am I?
Answer: A cannoli. - Puzzle: I’m sticky and get all over your fingers when you pull on me. What am I?
Answer: Glue. - Puzzle: I come in many shapes and sizes, but I’m best when I’m wet. What am I?
Answer: A sponge. - Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and sometimes people choke on me. What am I?
Answer: A chicken bone. - Puzzle: I have a long, hard stem and a round, juicy head. What am I?
Answer: A strawberry. - Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and often inserted into tight spaces. What am I?
Answer: A screwdriver. - Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and like to be stroked. What am I?
Answer: A violin. - Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and always go in dry. What am I?
Answer: A pencil. - Puzzle: I have a long, hard shaft and I’m often inserted into a hole. What am I?
Answer: A key. - Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and get slippery when wet. What am I?
Answer: Soap. - Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and can be quite satisfying to play with. What am I?
Answer: A guitar. - Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and always have a happy ending. What am I?
Answer: A story. - Puzzle: I have a long, hard body and I’m often used in construction. What am I?
Answer: A steel beam. - Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and can be quite a mouthful. What am I?
Answer: A hot dog. - Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and get used to pound things into place. What am I?
Answer: A hammer. - Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and often inserted into a slot. What am I?
Answer: A coin. - Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and often covered in dirt. What am I?
Answer: A shovel. - Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and get pulled on repeatedly. What am I?
Answer: A zipper.
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