Inappropriate

150+ Inappropriate Humor : Jokes, Puns, Pickup-lines, Captions…

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150+ Inappropriate Humor : Jokes, Puns, Pickup-lines, Captions…

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Inappropriate Funny Best Jokes

  1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including excuses for inappropriate behavior.
  2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, just like that inappropriate comment at a formal dinner.
  3. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta, much like a fake apology for an inappropriate remark.
  4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts, just like those who make inappropriate jokes at funerals.
  5. What did one hat say to the other? “You stay here; I’ll go on ahead.” Just like leaving a conversation after an inappropriate comment.
  6. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish, just like those who hoard the spotlight with inappropriate stories.
  7. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing, much like someone witnessing an inappropriate public display of affection.
  8. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved, much like ignoring inappropriate advances.
  9. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired, much like trying to stand up after laughing at an inappropriate joke.
  10. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”—a surprise that’s about as welcome as an inappropriate prank.
  11. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one, just like needing a backup plan after an inappropriate wardrobe malfunction.
  12. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts, just like those who make inappropriate jokes during job interviews.
  13. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems, just like a conversation plagued by inappropriate comments.
  14. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain, much like a group chat filled with inappropriate cat memes.
  15. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field, just like that inappropriate flirt at a medical conference.
  16. What did one hat say to the other? “You stay here; I’ll go on ahead.” Just like leaving a conversation after an inappropriate comment.
  17. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts, just like those who make inappropriate jokes during a wedding ceremony.
  18. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired, much like trying to stand up after laughing at an inappropriate joke during a lecture.
  19. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one, just like needing a backup plan after making an inappropriate comment during a date.
  20. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems, just like a discussion tainted by inappropriate humor during a study group.

Inappropriate Puns Jokes

  1. Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field… of inappropriate jokes.
  2. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in-tents, just like the discomfort caused by inappropriate puns.
  3. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants in an inappropriate manner.
  4. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine, much like someone at an inappropriate funeral.
  5. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything, including excuses for inappropriate behavior.
  6. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire. Just like the difference between appropriate and inappropriate attire.
  7. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing, just like witnessing an inappropriate public display of affection.
  8. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems, much like a conversation with too many inappropriate jokes.
  9. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired, just like trying to stand up after laughing at an inappropriate joke.
  10. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts, just like those who make inappropriate jokes during job interviews.
  11. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one, just like needing a backup plan after an inappropriate comment.
  12. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”—a surprise that’s about as welcome as an inappropriate prank.
  13. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? They’re shellfish, just like those who hoard the spotlight with inappropriate stories.
  14. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him, much like someone who’s been left alone after an inappropriate comment.
  15. What did the sushi say to the bee? “Wassabee?”—a question as awkward as an inappropriate pun.
  16. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field, just like that inappropriate flirt at a medical conference.
  17. What did one hat say to the other? “You stay here; I’ll go on ahead.” Just like leaving a conversation after an inappropriate comment.
  18. Why don’t skeletons play music in church? Because they have no organs, just like those who lack sensitivity to inappropriate contexts.
  19. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing, just like witnessing an inappropriate public display of affection.
  20. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, just like that inappropriate comment at a formal dinner.

Inappropriate Pickup Lines Jokes

  1. Are you a bank loan? Because you have my interest and I’d like to default on my repayment.
  2. Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for, including a restraining order.
  3. Are you a fire alarm? Because you’re loud, obnoxious, and I want to rip you off the ceiling.
  4. Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears, and I end up with a restraining order.
  5. Do you have a name or can I call you mine before the court hearing?
  6. Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout and I have a thing for broken noses.
  7. Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “fine” written all over you, and I’ll probably just ignore you until it gets worse.
  8. Are you a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns and I’d like to eat them inappropriately.
  9. Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes and then slapped with a restraining order.
  10. Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want to roast marshmallows on you… and then get kicked out of the park for public indecency.
  11. Are you a dictionary? Because you add meaning to my life, like explaining to the judge why I need a restraining order lifted.
  12. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m really feeling a connection here, and I’m about to get blocked.
  13. Are you a library book? Because I can’t stop checking you out, and I’ll probably return you with some pages stuck together.
  14. Are you a smoke alarm? Because you’re annoying and I’m tempted to take the battery out.
  15. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again so you can call the cops?
  16. Are you a bank? Because you’ve been making regular deposits in my thoughts, and now I’m overdrawn on my sanity.
  17. Is your name Ariel? Because we mermaid for each other, and I’m about to be banned from SeaWorld for harassment.
  18. Are you a museum? Because you truly are a work of art, and I’m about to get banned for inappropriate touching.
  19. Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile… and then get a restraining order in the mail.
  20. Are you a unicorn? Because I’ve never seen anything as magical as you, and I’m about to get a restraining order from the fairy princess society.

Inappropriate Charade Jokes

  1. Charade: Pretend to be vigorously applying sunscreen.
    Answer: Masturbation.
  2. Charade: Act like you’re trying to discreetly adjust something in your pants.
    Answer: Wedgie.
  3. Charade: Mime frantically swatting at invisible bugs.
    Answer: Having a private moment.
  4. Charade: Pretend to be vigorously shaking a bottle of soda.
    Answer: Trying to hold in a fart.
  5. Charade: Act like you’re vigorously scrubbing your hands with soap.
    Answer: Washing away evidence.
  6. Charade: Mime trying to remove something stuck between your teeth.
    Answer: Picking your nose.
  7. Charade: Act like you’re struggling to hold onto something heavy and shaking it.
    Answer: Trying to pee with morning wood.
  8. Charade: Mime struggling to zip up a tight pair of pants.
    Answer: Trying to squeeze into skinny jeans.
  9. Charade: Pretend to be vigorously digging in a small confined space.
    Answer: Picking a wedgie.
  10. Charade: Act like you’re trying to discreetly scratch an itch in an awkward spot.
    Answer: Adjusting your underwear in public.
  11. Charade: Mime trying to untangle a stubborn knot.
    Answer: Trying to remove a stuck condom.
  12. Charade: Pretend to be repeatedly checking your phone in a panicked manner.
    Answer: Making sure you didn’t accidentally send an embarrassing text to the wrong person.
  13. Charade: Act like you’re trying to subtly readjust your sitting position.
    Answer: Shifting to relieve a wedgie.
  14. Charade: Mime vigorously shaking a can of whipped cream.
    Answer: Preparing for a whipped cream bikini contest.
  15. Charade: Pretend to be vigorously wiping down a surface.
    Answer: Cleaning up spilled bodily fluids.
  16. Charade: Act like you’re struggling to pull something out of a tight space.
    Answer: Trying to remove a tampon.
  17. Charade: Mime trying to discreetly scratch an itch on your backside.
    Answer: Scratching your butt.
  18. Charade: Pretend to be frantically patting yourself down.
    Answer: Checking for leakage.
  19. Charade: Act like you’re struggling to untangle a mess of wires.
    Answer: Removing a particularly tangled hair from your nether regions.
  20. Charade: Mime desperately trying to shove something into a too-small container.
    Answer: Putting on too-tight underwear.

Inappropriate OneLiners Jokes

  1. My love life is like a rollercoaster: thrilling, nauseating, and ultimately disappointing for anyone involved.
  2. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it caught me checking out its juicy curves.
  3. My flirting game is as subtle as a sledgehammer in a china shop: clumsy, destructive, and likely to get me banned from polite society.
  4. They say laughter is the best medicine, which explains why I’m banned from pharmacies for my inappropriate jokes.
  5. My sense of timing is impeccable; unfortunately, it’s always timed perfectly to ruin the moment.
  6. My dating life is like a bad movie: predictable, cringe-worthy, and nobody wants to see the sequel.
  7. I’m not a photographer, but I can definitely picture you and me together… in a courtroom, facing a harassment lawsuit.
  8. If I were a vegetable, I’d be a cucumber, because let’s face it, I’m cool, refreshing, and good for more than just salads.
  9. They say honesty is the best policy, which is why I’m about to be escorted out for my brutally honest Tinder bio.
  10. I’m not saying I’m a proctologist, but I definitely have a knack for finding the assholes in any given situation.
  11. They say love is blind, which explains why I keep stumbling into inappropriate relationships.
  12. I’m not a meteorologist, but I can definitely predict a 100% chance of awkwardness whenever I open my mouth.
  13. They say time heals all wounds, which is great, because I’m going to need a lot of time to recover from that rejection.
  14. My love life is like a game of chess: it starts with high hopes and strategic moves, but ultimately ends with me knocked over and defeated.
  15. They say beauty is only skin deep, which explains why I’m banned from cosmetic surgery clinics.
  16. I’m not a baker, but I can definitely make your buns rise… inappropriately.
  17. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together… and then promptly get a restraining order.
  18. They say good things come to those who wait, which is why I’m still waiting for my karma to catch up with me.
  19. I’m not a doctor, but I can definitely make your heart race… and then worry about potential cardiac issues.
  20. They say you should always leave them wanting more, which explains why I’m always asked to leave parties prematurely.

Inappropriate Quotes Jokes

  1. “Life is like a box of chocolates: you never know which one will give you diabetes… or an inappropriate sugar rush.”
  2. “Love is blind, but lust has 20/20 vision and a pair of binoculars.”
  3. “They say laughter is the best medicine, but I prefer tequila shots and questionable decisions.”
  4. “Some people bring happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go… especially after an inappropriate incident.”
  5. “The early bird catches the worm, but the late-night owl catches the questionable Snapchat stories.”
  6. “Behind every successful person is a lot of coffee, sleepless nights, and a browser history you’d never want your parents to see.”
  7. “Dance like nobody’s watching, love like you’ve never been hurt, and sext like it’s being screen-captured.”
  8. “Life’s too short to wear boring underwear… or to send dull nudes.”
  9. “Happiness is not having to set an alarm for the next day… until you realize you missed your flight because you overslept.”
  10. “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself… and accidentally liking someone’s Instagram post from 72 weeks ago.”
  11. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but it’s also in the hands of the plastic surgeon.”
  12. “Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a yacht big enough to sail away from your problems… until the Coast Guard catches up with you.”
  13. “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans… and accidentally sending a risky text to your boss instead of your significant other.”
  14. “To err is human, to forgive is divine, and to accidentally reply-all with an inappropriate gif is downright embarrassing.”
  15. “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about… unless it’s by your therapist during a court-ordered session.”
  16. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it’s the courage to continue that counts… and a good lawyer.”
  17. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions… and questionable Google search history.”
  18. “Life is a journey, not a destination… but sometimes, it feels like a never-ending layover in a sketchy airport.”
  19. “Age is just a number, but maturity is definitely a questionable variable.”
  20. “The best way to predict the future is to create it… or to read your ex’s horoscope and hope they’re cursed with bad luck.”

Inappropriate Captions Jokes

  1. “Just a casual stroll… through my ex’s browser history.”
  2. “Feeling cute, might delete later… along with my browser history.”
  3. “Slaying the game… and accidentally sending nudes to the wrong group chat.”
  4. “Living my best life… one questionable decision at a time.”
  5. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade… spiked with vodka and poor life choices.”
  6. “Sun’s out, buns out… and now the neighbors are filing a noise complaint.”
  7. “Chasing dreams… and dodging restraining orders.”
  8. “Stay classy, never trashy… except on weekends.”
  9. “Living in the moment… and hoping nobody screenshots it.”
  10. “Be yourself, everyone else is taken… and I’m still waiting for my bail hearing.”
  11. “Dress for the job you want, not the one you have… unless you want to be fired.”
  12. “Life’s too short to be anything but happy… and a little bit naughty.”
  13. “Embrace the chaos… and hope the security camera footage gets deleted.”
  14. “Making memories… that will haunt me in therapy.”
  15. “Taking risks… and blaming it on tequila.”
  16. “Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn… then always be a unicorn, especially at the office.”
  17. “Inhale confidence, exhale doubt… and accidentally inhale a bug in the process.”
  18. “Follow your dreams… unless your dreams involve a questionable back alley.”
  19. “Life is short, buy the shoes… and then spend the night regretting it.”
  20. “Blessed and grateful… for the delete button.”

Inappropriate Puzzles & Riddles Jokes

  1. Puzzle: I start with a “P” and end with “ORN”, and I’m a major turn on. What am I?
    Answer: Popcorn.
  2. Puzzle: I have a stiff shaft, a pointed head, and I go in and out of holes. What am I?
    Answer: A golf club.
  3. Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and filled with white cream. What am I?
    Answer: A cannoli.
  4. Puzzle: I’m sticky and get all over your fingers when you pull on me. What am I?
    Answer: Glue.
  5. Puzzle: I come in many shapes and sizes, but I’m best when I’m wet. What am I?
    Answer: A sponge.
  6. Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and sometimes people choke on me. What am I?
    Answer: A chicken bone.
  7. Puzzle: I have a long, hard stem and a round, juicy head. What am I?
    Answer: A strawberry.
  8. Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and often inserted into tight spaces. What am I?
    Answer: A screwdriver.
  9. Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and like to be stroked. What am I?
    Answer: A violin.
  10. Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and always go in dry. What am I?
    Answer: A pencil.
  11. Puzzle: I have a long, hard shaft and I’m often inserted into a hole. What am I?
    Answer: A key.
  12. Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and get slippery when wet. What am I?
    Answer: Soap.
  13. Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and can be quite satisfying to play with. What am I?
    Answer: A guitar.
  14. Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and always have a happy ending. What am I?
    Answer: A story.
  15. Puzzle: I have a long, hard body and I’m often used in construction. What am I?
    Answer: A steel beam.
  16. Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and can be quite a mouthful. What am I?
    Answer: A hot dog.
  17. Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and get used to pound things into place. What am I?
    Answer: A hammer.
  18. Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and often inserted into a slot. What am I?
    Answer: A coin.
  19. Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and often covered in dirt. What am I?
    Answer: A shovel.
  20. Puzzle: I’m long, hard, and get pulled on repeatedly. What am I?
    Answer: A zipper.

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