John wick

150+ John wick Humor : Jokes, Puns, Pickup-lines, Captions…


150+ John wick Humor : Jokes, Puns, Pickup-lines, Captions…

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John wick Funny Best Jokes

  1. Why did John Wick become a baker? Because he always kneads his enemies.
  2. When John Wick enters a room, he doesn’t turn on the lights. He turns off the shadows.
  3. John Wick doesn’t need a watch. He decides what time it is.
  4. Why did John Wick go to art school? To master the art of assassination.
  5. When John Wick plays hide and seek, he doesn’t hide. He waits.
  6. John Wick doesn’t use a GPS. He just tells the road where to take him.
  7. Why don’t people challenge John Wick to staring contests? Because they know they’ll blink first… and last.
  8. John Wick doesn’t do push-ups. He pushes the world down.
  9. When John Wick does a puzzle, he only needs one piece. The rest come to him out of fear.
  10. Why did John Wick become a chef? Because he knows exactly how to tenderize his opponents.
  11. John Wick doesn’t have a reflection. Mirrors are too afraid to show him.
  12. When John Wick was a baby, his first word was “bam” – the sound of a gun being cocked.
  13. John Wick doesn’t break the law. The law breaks itself in his presence.
  14. Why did John Wick never get lost in the woods? Because the trees always point him in the right direction.
  15. When John Wick jumps into a swimming pool, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Wick.
  16. John Wick doesn’t have nightmares. Nightmares have John Wickmares.
  17. Why don’t people ask John Wick for directions? Because he only knows one way – his way.
  18. When John Wick goes to a concert, the music stops to listen to him.
  19. John Wick doesn’t have a bucket list. Buckets have John Wick lists – of people to avoid.
  20. Why did John Wick stop playing chess? Because he got tired of always saying, “Checkmate” before the game even started.

John wick Puns Jokes

  1. When John Wick enters a room, even the chairs stay on edge.
  2. Why did John Wick go to the bakery? He heard they had killer rolls.
  3. John Wick’s favorite movie genre? Action-packed popcorn flicks… with a side of revenge.
  4. Why did John Wick become a gardener? He wanted to show the weeds who’s boss.
  5. When John Wick goes fishing, he catches bullets.
  6. John Wick never loses. He either wins or makes a comeback.
  7. What did John Wick say to his GPS? “You better recalibrate, or I’ll do it for you.”
  8. When John Wick does a puzzle, he finishes it with a single bullet.
  9. John Wick doesn’t cry over spilled milk. He reloads.
  10. Why did John Wick quit his job as a pharmacist? He got tired of dispensing justice.
  11. When John Wick was a kid, he didn’t have an imaginary friend. He had an imaginary hitman.
  12. Why did John Wick join the band? He heard they needed a good drummer… and an even better assassin.
  13. John Wick doesn’t need a gym. He turns his enemies into weights.
  14. What did John Wick say to the bartender? “Make it a double… on the rocks.”
  15. Why did John Wick become a tailor? He wanted to stitch up his enemies… literally.
  16. John Wick doesn’t read bedtime stories. He tells cautionary tales.
  17. What’s John Wick’s favorite board game? Checkmate… with real consequences.
  18. Why did John Wick go to the zoo? He wanted to teach the lions how to roar… with a gun in hand.
  19. John Wick’s alarm clock? The sound of bullets hitting his enemies.
  20. What’s John Wick’s favorite dessert? Double-barreled chocolate cake.

John wick Pickup Lines Jokes

  1. Are you a target? Because I can’t take my eyes off you.
  2. Are you a contract? Because I’m ready to fulfill you.
  3. Are you a bullet? Because you’ve pierced straight through my heart.
  4. Are you a safe house? Because I want to seek refuge in your arms.
  5. Are you a silenced pistol? Because you leave me speechless.
  6. Are you a continental hotel? Because I’d break all the rules for you.
  7. Are you a high-value asset? Because I’d risk everything to protect you.
  8. Are you a dog? Because I’d go on a rampage if anyone dared to harm you.
  9. Are you a marker? Because I want to leave my mark on you.
  10. Are you a gold coin? Because I’d pay any price to be with you.
  11. Are you a pencil? Because I can’t erase you from my mind.
  12. Are you a suit? Because you make me feel like a gentleman and an assassin.
  13. Are you a boogeyman? Because you haunt my dreams… in the best way possible.
  14. Are you a continental rule? Because I’d break it just to hold your hand.
  15. Are you a motorcycle? Because I want to ride into the sunset with you.
  16. Are you a contract marker? Because I want to sign my name on your heart.
  17. Are you a candle? Because you light up my darkness.
  18. Are you a target practice? Because I want to aim straight for your heart.
  19. Are you a coin toss? Because I’d always choose heads – your head, on my shoulder.
  20. Are you a secret passage? Because I want to explore every hidden part of you.

John wick Charade Jokes

  1. Charade: (Pantomime holding a gun and reloading)

    Answer: John Wick reloading his weapon
  2. Charade: (Pantomime a dog wagging its tail)

    Answer: Daisy, John Wick’s beloved dog
  3. Charade: (Pantomime fighting with hand-to-hand combat moves)

    Answer: John Wick engaging in a brawl
  4. Charade: (Pantomime putting on a suit jacket)

    Answer: John Wick preparing for a mission
  5. Charade: (Pantomime a coin flipping in the air)

    Answer: The Continental’s gold coin
  6. Charade: (Pantomime wiping a tear from one eye)

    Answer: John Wick mourning his wife, Helen
  7. Charade: (Pantomime a car revving)

    Answer: John Wick driving his iconic Mustang
  8. Charade: (Pantomime a sniper aiming and firing)

    Answer: John Wick taking out a target from a distance
  9. Charade: (Pantomime a pencil writing)

    Answer: John Wick’s legendary pencil scene
  10. Charade: (Pantomime handing over a gold coin)

    Answer: John Wick paying for services at The Continental
  11. Charade: (Pantomime holding a blood oath marker)

    Answer: John Wick honoring a debt
  12. Charade: (Pantomime a black suit with a red tie)

    Answer: John Wick’s signature attire
  13. Charade: (Pantomime a finger crossing the neck)

    Answer: John Wick signaling a kill
  14. Charade: (Pantomime placing a finger to the lips)

    Answer: John Wick silencing a threat
  15. Charade: (Pantomime holding a gold coin and nodding)

    Answer: John Wick receiving approval from Winston
  16. Charade: (Pantomime bandaging a wound)

    Answer: John Wick tending to his injuries
  17. Charade: (Pantomime a suitcase being opened)

    Answer: John Wick revealing hidden weapons
  18. Charade: (Pantomime handing over a blood-stained item)

    Answer: John Wick offering evidence of a kill
  19. Charade: (Pantomime a gold coin being tossed onto a table)

    Answer: John Wick requesting a favor at The Continental
  20. Charade: (Pantomime a dog sleeping peacefully)

    Answer: John Wick finding solace with a new companion

John wick OneLiners Jokes

  1. “I don’t make threats. I make promises with consequences.”
  2. “I don’t need luck. Luck needs me.”
  3. “I’m not here to negotiate. I’m here to settle scores.”
  4. “They say revenge is a dish best served cold. I prefer mine with a side of bullets.”
  5. “I’m not a hero. I’m just the guy who gets things done… violently.”
  6. “I don’t believe in second chances. I believe in making the first one count.”
  7. “I’m not afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of me.”
  8. “I don’t play games. I play for keeps.”
  9. “I don’t run from my past. I embrace it, then bury it six feet under.”
  10. “I don’t need an army. I am the army.”
  11. “I don’t follow the rules. I rewrite them.”
  12. “I’m not a man of many words. I’m a man of action… and consequences.”
  13. “I don’t seek forgiveness. I seek closure, with a loaded gun.”
  14. “I don’t make mistakes. I make casualties.”
  15. “I don’t believe in fate. I believe in creating my own destiny.”
  16. “I don’t need backup. I am the backup.”
  17. “I don’t fear death. Death fears me.”
  18. “I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to make examples.”
  19. “I don’t negotiate terms. I dictate them.”
  20. “I don’t need a reason. I need a target.”

John wick Quotes Jokes

  1. “I don’t need luck. Luck is for those who can’t reload fast enough.”
  2. “In my world, vengeance is the currency.”
  3. “I’m not the boogeyman. I’m the one they call when the boogeyman needs to hide.”
  4. “Death doesn’t negotiate. It collects.”
  5. “Every bullet has a story to tell. Guess who’s narrating.”
  6. “I don’t make threats. I make promises.”
  7. “You can’t kill what’s already dead inside.”
  8. “Blood stains, memories fade, but a reputation lasts forever.”
  9. “My silence is my deadliest weapon.”
  10. “I’ve danced with death so many times, we’re practically waltzing.”
  11. “In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. In my world, the one-handed man is the deadliest.”
  12. “I’m not looking for trouble. Trouble just has a way of finding me.”
  13. “Fear is a luxury I can’t afford.”
  14. “I don’t need permission to be dangerous.”
  15. “Some call it a vendetta. I call it unfinished business.”
  16. “You can’t extinguish a flame that’s already consumed everything.”
  17. “Chaos isn’t a pit. Chaos is a ladder, and I’m at the top looking down.”
  18. “Life is short, but mine’s measured in body counts.”
  19. “Legends are born in blood, forged in fire, and etched in bullets.”
  20. “They say the pen is mightier than the sword. They’ve never seen me write my own rules.”

John wick Captions Jokes

  1. “In a world of chaos, I am the calm before the storm.”
  2. “They say revenge is a dish best served cold. I prefer mine straight from the barrel.”
  3. “Living on borrowed time, but death pays its dues.”
  4. “A man of few words, but each bullet speaks volumes.”
  5. “Legends are born in the shadows and thrive in the light of their enemies.”
  6. “Some men are made for peace. I was forged for war.”
  7. “Every scar tells a story. Mine speak of survival against all odds.”
  8. “In a world of predators, I am the apex hunter.”
  9. “Walking the line between salvation and damnation, I choose neither.”
  10. “The devil doesn’t wear horns. He wears a suit and carries a gun.”
  11. “A symphony of violence conducted by the hand of fate.”
  12. “In the theater of war, I am the leading man.”
  13. “Fear is a luxury I can’t afford. Death is my constant companion.”
  14. “Where others see obstacles, I see opportunities for annihilation.”
  15. “I am the architect of my own destiny, built upon the ruins of my past.”
  16. “Silence is my ally, and chaos is my canvas.”
  17. “In a world of sheep, I am the lone wolf.”
  18. “They call me a killer. Little do they know, I am also a survivor.”
  19. “In the dance of death, I lead with precision and grace.”
  20. “There are two types of people in this world: the hunters and the hunted. I am both.”

John wick Puzzles & Riddles Jokes

  1. Puzzle: What weapon does John Wick favor, starting with the letter “G” and often associated with a symbol of wealth and power?

    Answer: Gun (specifically, a variety of firearms)
  2. Puzzle: What is the name of John Wick’s cherished canine companion?

    Answer: Daisy
  3. Puzzle: Complete the phrase: “John Wick is known as the Baba ________.”

    Answer: Yaga
  4. Puzzle: Arrange these words to reveal a key element of John Wick’s world: “Continental,” “Hotel,” “Safe.”

    Answer: Safe House
  5. Puzzle: What is the term used in John Wick’s universe to refer to a contract for assassination?

    Answer: Marker
  6. Puzzle: John Wick’s iconic vehicle, a sleek muscle car, is a _______ Mustang.

    Answer: Ford
  7. Puzzle: What is the name of the mysterious and elite assassins’ guild where John Wick operates?

    Answer: The Continental
  8. Puzzle: John Wick’s reputation precedes him as “The _______ of Death.”

    Answer: Boogeyman
  9. Puzzle: Who is the enigmatic manager of The Continental hotel?

    Answer: Winston
  10. Puzzle: Fill in the blank: “John Wick is a man of few _______.”

    Answer: Words
  11. Puzzle: What is the currency used within the underworld of assassins in John Wick’s universe?

    Answer: Gold Coins
  12. Puzzle: John Wick’s journey is fueled by a thirst for ________.

    Answer: Vengeance
  13. Puzzle: Complete the phrase: “In John Wick’s world, every ________ has a price.”

    Answer: Bullet
  14. Puzzle: What is the name of the high-ranking crime lord who has crossed paths with John Wick multiple times?

    Answer: Santino D’Antonio
  15. Puzzle: John Wick’s attire of choice often includes a ________ suit.

    Answer: Black
  16. Puzzle: What is the deadly network of assassins and criminals known as, where John Wick once belonged?

    Answer: The High Table
  17. Puzzle: Complete the phrase: “John Wick doesn’t negotiate. He ________.”

    Answer: Acts
  18. Puzzle: What is the first name of John Wick’s wife, whose memory drives much of his actions?

    Answer: Helen
  19. Puzzle: John Wick’s mastery in combat includes proficiency in hand-to-______ combat.

    Answer: Hand
  20. Puzzle: What is the primary rule within The Continental hotel, prohibiting violence on its premises?

    Answer: No business conducted on hotel grounds
  1. What’s the weapon John Wick wields, that strikes fear in every field?
    Answer: A pencil.
  2. What never leaves John Wick’s side, in battle or in stride?
    Answer: His dog.
  3. What’s the currency John Wick deals, when revenge he reveals?
    Answer: Gold coins.
  4. What’s the drink John Wick sips, as he plans his trips?
    Answer: Bourbon.
  5. What’s the code John Wick lives by, until the day he’ll die?
    Answer: Baba Yaga.
  6. What’s the name that echoes loud, when criminals are found?
    Answer: John Wick.
  7. What’s the place John Wick seeks, where justice never speaks?
    Answer: Continental Hotel.
  8. What’s the mark John Wick bears, for all his fears?
    Answer: Blood oath.
  9. What’s the art John Wick employs, to silence all the noise?
    Answer: Assassination.
  10. What’s the memory John Wick holds, of stories untold?
    Answer: His past.
  11. What’s the wrath John Wick unleashes, when vengeance he reaches?
    Answer: Unstoppable fury.
  12. What’s the rule John Wick bends, to achieve his ends?
    Answer: No rules.
  13. What’s the reason John Wick fights, through darkest nights?
    Answer: Love.
  14. What’s the name John Wick’s foes dread, when they face him dead?
    Answer: Baba Yaga.
  15. What’s the silence that descends, when John Wick’s vendetta begins?
    Answer: Deadly calm.
  16. What’s the shadow that looms large, when John Wick takes charge?
    Answer: Grim determination.
  17. What’s the legend whispered low, wherever John Wick may go?
    Answer: Baba Yaga.
  18. What’s the fire that burns bright, in John Wick’s fight?
    Answer: Retribution.
  19. What’s the end that awaits, when John Wick decides fates?
    Answer: Death.
  20. What’s the tale that’s oft retold, of a man so bold?
    Answer: John Wick’s saga.

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