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Prison Funny Best Jokes

1. Why did the scarecrow get thrown in prison? Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. Why don’t prisoners use social media? Because they can’t handle the “cell” service!
3. What’s a prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark? The “cell” comma!
4. Why did the prisoner break up with his mattress? It was too con-“cell”-ing!
5. What’s a prisoner’s favorite game? Cell-itaire!
6. Why did the prisoner take a pencil to bed? So he could draw his escape plans!
7. Why did the prisoner feel like he was being watched? Because he had “cell”mates!
8. Why did the math book go to prison? It had too many problems!
9. What’s a prisoner’s favorite candy? Lock-late!
10. Why did the prisoner refuse to play hide and seek? Because he was always behind bars!
11. Why did the skeleton go to prison? Because it didn’t have any body to go with!
12. Why did the prisoner take a ladder to jail? He heard the cells had high bars!
13. Why was the calendar sent to prison? Because it had too many dates!
14. Why was the music teacher arrested? For hitting a high note!
15. Why did the prisoner bring a watch to jail? Because he wanted to “watch” his time!
16. Why did the smartphone go to prison? It kept making unlawful connections!
17. Why did the prisoner become a gardener? He wanted to work on his “cell” growth!
18. Why did the ghost go to prison? It had a haunting criminal record!
19. Why did the prisoner become an artist? He wanted to draw a better future!
20. Why did the prisoner refuse to share his secrets? He didn’t want to spill the “cell” beans!

Prison Puns Jokes

1. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed space!
2. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
4. Why was the belt arrested? It held up a pair of pants!
5. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
6. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
7. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
8. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
9. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
10. What do you call fake noodle? An impasta!
11. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
12. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
13. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
14. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!
15. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
16. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
17. What’s a tree’s least favorite month? Sep-timber!
18. What did one hat say to the other? You stay here; I’ll go on ahead!
19. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
20. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

Prison Pickup Lines Jokes

1. Are you a cell door? Because every time I see you, my heart opens up.
2. Is your name Shawshank? Because you’ve escaped my thoughts.
3. Are you a prison meal? Because I can’t wait to get a taste of you.
4. Do you have a parole hearing soon? Because I’d love to be the reason you get early release.
5. Are you a prison guard? Because you’ve got me serving time in your charm.
6. Is your nickname “Cell Block”? Because you’ve got me locked up in your love.
7. Are you on probation? Because you’re making my heart do time.
8. Is your name Alcatraz? Because you’ve got me trapped in your beauty.
9. Are you serving a life sentence? Because I’d love to be your cellmate forever.
10. Are you a prison library? Because I’m checking you out.
11. Are you doing time for stealing hearts? Because you’ve stolen mine.
12. Is your love like a maximum-security prison? Because I never want to escape from it.
13. Are you in solitary confinement? Because you’re the only one I see.
14. Is your name Incarceration? Because I can’t seem to escape the thought of you.
15. Are you a prison yard? Because I’d love to take a walk with you.
16. Is your love like a parole hearing? Because I’m hoping for early release into your arms.
17. Are you a prison sentence? Because I’d gladly serve time for you.
18. Are you a prison tattoo? Because you’ve left a permanent mark on my heart.
19. Are you a prison riot? Because being with you feels like breaking all the rules.
20. Is your heart a prison cell? Because I want to be locked in with you forever.

Prison Charade Jokes

1. Charade: (Act out tapping on a window with fingers) Answer: Morse Code
2. Charade: (Act out digging with a spoon) Answer: Escape Tunnel
3. Charade: (Act out holding bars and shaking them) Answer: Prison Riot
4. Charade: (Act out peering through imaginary binoculars) Answer: Surveillance
5. Charade: (Act out counting imaginary bars) Answer: Sentence Calculation
6. Charade: (Act out pretending to knit with imaginary needles) Answer: Crafting a Shank
7. Charade: (Act out covering mouth and whispering) Answer: Secret Communication
8. Charade: (Act out wearing invisible handcuffs and trying to break free) Answer: Shackles
9. Charade: (Act out pacing back and forth in a confined space) Answer: Cellblock Restlessness
10. Charade: (Act out holding a magnifying glass and inspecting) Answer: Contraband Search
11. Charade: (Act out pretending to climb a wall with a rope) Answer: Prison Escape
12. Charade: (Act out huddling in a circle with imaginary friends) Answer: Solitary Confinement Delusion
13. Charade: (Act out pretending to flush something down an imaginary toilet) Answer: Contraband Disposal
14. Charade: (Act out pretending to bribe someone discreetly) Answer: Corruption Scheme
15. Charade: (Act out lifting imaginary weights) Answer: Prison Yard Workout
16. Charade: (Act out pretending to be asleep with one eye open) Answer: Prison Guard Surveillance
17. Charade: (Act out swapping items discreetly with another person) Answer: Contraband Exchange
18. Charade: (Act out putting on a disguise with imaginary props) Answer: Escape Plan Preparation
19. Charade: (Act out shushing someone with a finger to lips) Answer: Hushed Conversation
20. Charade: (Act out wiping sweat from brow and looking relieved) Answer: Successful Parole Hearing

Prison OneLiners Jokes

1. Why did the inmate break up with his calendar? He felt like he was doing time.
2. Did you hear about the prisoner who became a gardener? He wanted to experience some cell growth.
3. Why was the math book sent to prison? It had too many problems.
4. Why don’t prisoners take up acting? They’re afraid of getting typecast.
5. Why did the smartphone go to jail? It kept making unlawful connections.
6. Why did the music teacher end up in prison? He got caught for hitting a high note.
7. Why was the skeleton released from prison early? He didn’t have the guts to stay.
8. Why did the scarecrow get arrested? He was outstanding in his field of crime.
9. Why did the prisoner bring a ladder to jail? He heard the cells had high bars.
10. Why did the calendar refuse to go to prison? It didn’t want to face time.
11. Why did the ghost go to prison? It had a haunting criminal record.
12. Why did the prisoner become an artist? He wanted to draw a better future.
13. Why did the prisoner refuse to share his secrets? He didn’t want to spill the cell beans.
14. Why did the smartphone become a lawyer? It had a lot of cell connections.
15. Why did the math book get detention? It couldn’t solve its own problems.
16. Why did the prisoner start a band? He wanted to escape through the music.
17. Why was the broom put in jail? It was sweeping up too many crimes.
18. Why did the prisoner take a watch to bed? He wanted to watch his dreams.
19. Why did the jailbirds form a choir? They found solace in singing together.
20. Why did the prisoner become a chef? He wanted to turn over a new leaf.

Prison Quotes Jokes

1. “Behind bars, freedom whispers its loudest truths.”
2. “In the cell of solitude, the echoes of self-discovery resonate.”
3. “Within these walls, time becomes a jailer, and memories its inmates.”
4. “Each barred window tells a story of dreams deferred and hopes caged.”
5. “Incarceration births introspection, and solitude births strength.”
6. “The key to liberation lies not in steel, but in the depths of one’s resolve.”
7. “Within these confines, resilience is the currency of survival.”
8. “In the silence of confinement, the soul finds its loudest voice.”
9. “From the darkness of confinement, emerge the brightest sparks of resilience.”
10. “Within these walls, the human spirit refuses to be contained.”
11. “In the fortress of confinement, redemption becomes the architect of freedom.”
12. “Barred windows cannot contain the flight of the mind’s imagination.”
13. “Within these gates, courage is the key that unlocks the cell of fear.”
14. “In the embrace of solitude, the heart learns to sing its own song.”
15. “Within these confines, echoes of hope reverberate against the walls of despair.”
16. “Behind bars, the mind becomes a fortress, and thoughts, its prisoners.”
17. “From the depths of despair, rise the pillars of inner strength.”
18. “Within these walls, the soul learns to dance to the rhythm of resilience.”
19. “Incarceration cannot shackle the wings of the spirit’s flight.”
20. “Within these confines, echoes of freedom whisper promises of tomorrow.”

Prison Captions Jokes

1. “Locked away but never silenced.”
2. “Finding freedom in the confines of my mind.”
3. “Chains may bind my body, but my spirit remains untamed.”
4. “Incarceration breeds liberation of the soul.”
5. “Behind bars, I learn to break free within.”
6. “Within these walls, echoes of resilience reverberate.”
7. “Captivity fuels the flames of inner strength.”
8. “Finding beauty in the darkness of confinement.”
9. “Barred windows cannot contain the light of hope.”
10. “Incarceration: a canvas for self-discovery.”
11. “Within these confines, dreams take flight.”
12. “Behind bars, I redefine my limitations.”
13. “Every lock holds the promise of liberation.”
14. “Within these walls, I discover the power of my voice.”
15. “Chains may bind, but they also forge resilience.”
16. “Within the shadows of captivity, I find my light.”
17. “Incarceration: a journey towards self-mastery.”
18. “Behind bars, the heart learns to beat with purpose.”
19. “Within these confines, I find the keys to my own liberation.”
20. “Incarceration: the crucible of transformation.”

Prison Puzzles & Riddles Jokes

1. Puzzle: What has keys but can’t open locks? Answer: A piano.
2. Puzzle: I am taken from a mine, and shut up in a wooden case, from which I am never released, and yet I am used by almost every person. What am I? Answer: Pencil lead.
3. Puzzle: What can travel around the world while staying in a corner? Answer: A stamp.
4. Puzzle: The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I? Answer: Footsteps.
5. Puzzle: What can be cracked, made, told, and played? Answer: Jokes.
6. Puzzle: I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have no body, but I come alive with the wind. What am I? Answer: An echo.
7. Puzzle: What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a bed but never sleeps, and has a head but never weeps? Answer: A river.
8. Puzzle: What is always in front of you but can’t be seen? Answer: The future.
9. Puzzle: I have cities but no houses, forests but no trees, and rivers but no water. What am I? Answer: A map.
10. Puzzle: The person who makes it sells it. The person who buys it never uses it. The person who uses it never knows they’re using it. What is it? Answer: A coffin.
11. Puzzle: I am taken from a mine and shut up in a wooden case. A hammer shatters me all the same. What am I? Answer: A coal.
12. Puzzle: What has a head, a tail, is brown, and has no legs? Answer: A penny.
13. Puzzle: What has a neck but no head? Answer: A bottle.
14. Puzzle: I am not alive, but I grow; I don’t have lungs, but I need air; I don’t have a mouth, but water kills me. What am I? Answer: Fire.
15. Puzzle: What is so fragile that saying its name breaks it? Answer: Silence.
16. Puzzle: What has keys but can’t open doors? Answer: A keyboard.
17. Puzzle: I can be cracked, made, told, and played. What am I? Answer: A joke.
18. Puzzle: What gets wetter as it dries? Answer: A towel.
19. Puzzle: What belongs to you, but other people use it more than you do? Answer: Your name.
20. Puzzle: The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I? Answer: Footsteps.

1. What has keys but can’t open locks, a guard keeps watch but never talks?
   
   Answer: A piano.
2. What is a prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark?
   
   Answer: The period. It marks the end of their sentence.
3. What is a prisoner’s favorite meal in the alphabet soup?
   
   Answer: Escape (letters E, S, C, A, P, E).
4. What kind of shoes do prisoners wear?
   
   Answer: Sneakers, because they’re always on the run.
5. What is a prisoner’s favorite card game?
   
   Answer: Solitaire.
6. What gets wetter as it dries and brings freedom to the jailed?
   
   Answer: A towel.
7. What is a prisoner’s favorite movie?
   
   Answer: “The Shawshank Redemption.”
8. What has a head and a tail but no body, yet prisoners fear it?
   
   Answer: A coin, because they can’t decide their fate with it.
9. What tool is often used by prisoners but is never seen?
   
   Answer: Time, it’s constantly ticking away.
10. What is a prisoner’s favorite kind of math?
    
    Answer: Algebra. They’re always trying to solve for X.
11. What is a prisoner’s favorite dessert?
    
    Answer: Cake with a file in it.
12. What has walls but no doors, no windows, and is constantly watched?
    
    Answer: A prison.
13. What has a ring but no finger, a face but no eyes, and can hold a prisoner?
    
    Answer: A watchtower.
14. What is a prisoner’s favorite sport?
    
    Answer: Jailbreak.
15. What is always behind bars but can never be contained?
    
    Answer: Light.
16. What starts with “e,” ends with “e,” and contains one letter?
    
    Answer: Envelope. It holds letters (correspondence).
17. What is a prisoner’s favorite type of weather?
    
    Answer: Foggy, because it provides cover for escapes.
18. What goes in hard, comes out soft, and gets thrown away by prisoners?
    
    Answer: Chewing gum.
19. What has keys that open no locks, space but no room, and allows no escape?
    
    Answer: A keyboard.
20. What is a prisoner’s favorite part of a joke?
    
    Answer: The punchline, because they can’t resist a good escape plan.

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