Shakespeare Funny Best Jokes
- Why did Shakespeare refuse to play hide and seek? Because he always wanted to be seen, to be or not to be seen!
- What’s Shakespeare’s favorite type of soup? Much ado about broth!
- Why was Shakespeare always invited to parties? Because he knew how to make a scene!
- What do you call Shakespearean footwear? Sole-iloquies!
- Why did Shakespeare only write in ink? Because he thought pencils were “2B or not 2B”!
- How did Shakespeare fix his broken pencil? With much ado about lead!
- Why did Shakespeare go to therapy? He had too many Hamlet issues!
- What did Shakespeare say to the bartender? “To beer or not to beer, that is the question!”
- Why did Shakespeare always carry a mirror? To be or not to be a reflection of himself!
- What do you call Shakespearean cats? Meow-lios and Purrrcle!
- Why did Shakespeare become a gardener? Because he wanted to be a Midsummer Night’s Dream weaver!
- What’s Shakespeare’s favorite type of music? Sonnet rock!
- Why was Shakespeare always good at math? Because he knew how to count on his fingers, Two-b, or not two-b, that’s the quotient!
- Why did Shakespeare get kicked out of the bakery? He kept asking, “To bun or not to bun?”
- What do you call Shakespearean insects? Much ado about buzz!
- Why did Shakespeare refuse to play cards? Because he always folded under pressure!
- What’s Shakespeare’s favorite type of seafood? Othello-fish!
- Why did Shakespeare never get lost? Because he always knew which whey to Romeo!
- What do you call Shakespearean beverages? Macbeth’s-tea and Othello-ade!
- Why did Shakespeare bring a ladder to the comedy show? Because he heard the jokes were on a higher level!
Shakespeare Puns Jokes
- What do you call Shakespeare’s laundry detergent? Much Ado About Clean!
- Why did Shakespeare always carry a map? Because he liked to roam-eo and Juliet!
- What’s Shakespeare’s favorite card game? King Lear Poker!
- Why did Shakespeare become a gardener? Because he wanted to write sonnets in the flowers!
- What do you call Shakespearean birds? Hamlet-thrush and Macbeth-robin!
- Why did Shakespeare go to the beach? To catch some rays and be a “sonnet” of a beach!
- What do you call a group of Shakespearean actors? A play-giarism!
- Why did Shakespeare open a bakery? Because he wanted to make much ado about muffins!
- What do you call Shakespearean potatoes? Tuber-lance and Rospierce!
- Why did Shakespeare never play hide and seek? Because he always found “To Be or Not To Be”!
- What’s Shakespeare’s favorite type of car? A “Romeo and Juliet” convertible!
- Why did Shakespeare become a hairdresser? Because he wanted to style in iambic pentameter!
- What do you call Shakespeare’s Internet connection? WiFi or not WiFi, that is the question!
- Why did Shakespeare refuse to play golf? Because he thought it was “much ado about putts”!
- What do you call Shakespearean desserts? Midsummer Night’s Dream Pie and Taming of the Stew!
- Why did Shakespeare go to the party alone? Because he didn’t have a +1, just a -2B!
- What’s Shakespeare’s favorite game console? The X-Box-iet!
- Why did Shakespeare bring a ladder to the theater? Because he heard the seats were in the balcony!
- What do you call Shakespearean vegetables? Ham-lettuce and Mac-beet!
- Why did Shakespeare become a detective? Because he liked to crack sonnets!
Shakespeare Pickup Lines Jokes
- Are you Juliet? Because I can’t help falling in love with you at first sight!
- If you were a sonnet, you’d be 14 lines of pure beauty!
- Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again in iambic pentameter?
- Are you a Shakespeare play? Because you’re making me want to stay up all night and explore every line!
- Excuse me, do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes, much like the plot twists in Shakespeare’s plays!
- Are you a sonnet? Because you’ve got rhythm and I can’t resist!
- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because your beauty rivals that of the fairies in A Midsummer Night’s Dream!
- If you were a Shakespearean heroine, you’d be the Rosalind to my Orlando!
- Are you a Shakespearean tragedy? Because every time I look at you, I feel like I’m falling for the wrong person!
- Are you Lady Macbeth? Because you’ve got a hold on me that I can’t resist!
- Is your name Ophelia? Because you’ve drowned my heart in a sea of love!
- Excuse me, but are you wearing a Shakespearean costume? Because you’ve got me feeling like I’m in the presence of royalty!
- Is your name Miranda? Because every time I look at you, I feel like I’ve discovered something magical!
- Are you a Shakespearean comedy? Because every time I’m with you, I can’t stop smiling!
- Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your eyes, and it’s a sight worth beholding!
- Excuse me, but are you Rosaline? Because even though Romeo didn’t end up with you, I’d be more than happy to take his place!
- If you were a Shakespearean sonnet, you’d be the most beautiful rhyme I’ve ever read!
- Are you a Shakespearean villain? Because you’ve stolen my heart with your wicked charm!
- Excuse me, but are you Titania? Because I feel like I’m under a spell whenever I’m near you!
- Are you Beatrice? Because every time you speak, you’re nothing short of witty and enchanting!
Shakespeare Charade Jokes
- Charade: A stormy sea (Answer: Tempest)
- Charade: A royal residence (Answer: Palace)
- Charade: A forbidden love (Answer: Romeo and Juliet)
- Charade: A mischievous sprite (Answer: Puck)
- Charade: A melancholic Dane (Answer: Hamlet)
- Charade: A magical forest (Answer: Arden)
- Charade: A potion of forgetfulness (Answer: Love’s Labour’s Lost)
- Charade: A misinterpreted letter (Answer: Much Ado About Nothing)
- Charade: A pair of star-crossed lovers (Answer: Romeo and Juliet)
- Charade: A royal betrayal (Answer: Macbeth)
- Charade: A feuding family (Answer: Montague/Capulet)
- Charade: A magical creature in disguise (Answer: Ariel)
- Charade: A mysterious island (Answer: The Tempest)
- Charade: A foolish knight (Answer: Falstaff)
- Charade: A passionate declaration (Answer: Sonnet)
- Charade: A treacherous plot (Answer: Othello)
- Charade: A misunderstood villain (Answer: Shylock)
- Charade: A powerful enchantress (Answer: Prospero)
- Charade: A troubled king (Answer: Lear)
- Charade: A tale of mistaken identity (Answer: Comedy of Errors)
Shakespeare OneLiners Jokes
- To pun or not to pun, that is the question… and I say, always pun!
- Out, out, brief candle! Said the electrician during a power outage in Shakespearean times.
- Et tu, Brute? More like, “Et tu, Boo?” when someone steals your snacks.
- Is this a dagger I see before me, or did I accidentally grab the kitchen knife again?
- Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? In the queue at Starbucks, probably.
- Something is rotten in the state of Denmark… and it’s not just the expired yogurt in the royal fridge.
- Parting is such sweet sorrow, especially when you forget your phone charger at your friend’s place.
- Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears… I left my AirPods at home.
- Though she be but little, she is fierce… said every short girl ever.
- To sleep, perchance to dream… of winning the lottery and quitting my job.
- All the world’s a stage, but my bedroom is the VIP section.
- Brevity is the soul of wit, so here’s a short joke: Shakespeare walks into a bar…
- Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind… and with a little help from Instagram filters.
- Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them… but most just settle for mediocrity.
- The course of true love never did run smooth, especially if you forget Valentine’s Day.
- Though I am not naturally honest, I am sometimes so by chance… especially when the cashier gives me too much change.
- If music be the food of love, play on… but make sure it’s on a Spotify premium account.
- How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child… or a cat who ignores you after you feed it.
- Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them… and then there are those who accidentally delete their masterpiece novel before saving.
- What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet… unless it’s named Stinky.
Shakespeare Quotes Jokes
- “To code, or not to code, that is the algorithm.”
- “Et tu, code?”
- “A byte of code by any other name would compile just as sweet.”
- “The fault, dear users, is not in our software, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.”
- “What’s in a variable? That which we call a string by any other name would still concatenate.”
- “To debug, perchance to dream; ay, there’s the breakpoint.”
- “Parting is such sweet sorrow, but merging conflicts are a bitter end.”
- “All the world’s a browser, and all the users merely visitors.”
- “The course of true programming never did run smooth.”
- “Be not afraid of stack overflow; some are born great coders, some achieve greatness, and some have segmentation faults thrust upon them.”
- “To err is human, but to debug is divine.”
- “Cry ‘Havoc!’, and let slip the bugs of war.”
- “Brevity is the soul of good code.”
- “Double, double, toil and trouble; fire burn and variables bubble.”
- “Though this be madness, there is method() in it.”
- “The code is a mirror; it reflects what you put into it.”
- “What a tangled web we code when first we practice to program.”
- “To program, or not to program, that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the IDE to suffer the bugs and errors of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of syntax errors, and by opposing, end them.”
- “Out, damned bug! Out, I say!”
- “Is this a pointer which I see before me?”
Shakespeare Captions Jokes
- “Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio, a fellow of infinite selfies.”
- “To post, or not to post, that is the question.”
- “Though she be but little, she is fierce in her Instagram game.”
- “O, wonder! How many goodly creatures are there here! Let’s capture them all in one panoramic shot.”
- “What’s in a hashtag? That which we call a rose by any other name would trend just as sweet.”
- “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely influencers.”
- “To filter or not to filter, that is the dilemma.”
- “A rose by any other filter would still get plenty of likes.”
- “Is this a candid moment which I see before me?”
- “Parting is such sweet sorrow, but our Snapchat streak must come to an end.”
- “Double tap for a midsummer night’s dream.”
- “We are such stuff as Instagram captions are made on.”
- “Though this be madness, yet there is method in our social media posts.”
- “The course of true love never did run smooth, but our relationship status update will.”
- “A moment captured is a moment immortalized.”
- “Et tu, follower count?”
- “Brevity is the soul of a witty caption.”
- “All that glitters is not gold, but it sure does make for an aesthetic feed.”
- “The play’s the thing, wherein I’ll catch the likes of the audience.”
- “Exit, pursued by notifications.”
Shakespeare Puzzles & Riddles Jokes
- Puzzle: What is full of sound and fury, signifying nothing? Answer: Shakespeare’s “Macbeth,” Act V, Scene V
- Puzzle: What is the green-eyed monster that doth mock the meat it feeds on? Answer: Jealousy (from “Othello,” Act III, Scene III)
- Puzzle: What is the quality of mercy that droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven? Answer: It is not strained (from “The Merchant of Venice,” Act IV, Scene I)
- Puzzle: What is the name of the rose that by any other name would smell as sweet? Answer: Juliet (from “Romeo and Juliet,” Act II, Scene II)
- Puzzle: What is the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that we suffer in the sea of troubles? Answer: Life (from “Hamlet,” Act III, Scene I)
- Puzzle: What is the undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveler returns? Answer: Death (from “Hamlet,” Act III, Scene I)
- Puzzle: What is the milk of human kindness that is not strained? Answer: Macbeth (from “Macbeth,” Act I, Scene V)
- Puzzle: What is the brevity of life that creeps in this petty pace from day to day? Answer: Tomorrow (from “Macbeth,” Act V, Scene V)
- Puzzle: What is the cruel necessity that hangs upon the outcome of a coin toss? Answer: Fate (from “Julius Caesar,” Act I, Scene II)
- Puzzle: What is the winter of our discontent that we wish to make glorious summer? Answer: York (from “Richard III,” Act I, Scene I)
- Puzzle: What is the letter that kills, but the spirit that gives life? Answer: The Law (from “2 Corinthians 3:6”)
- Puzzle: What is the double dealing that plays fast and loose with truth? Answer: Deception (from “Twelfth Night,” Act II, Scene V)
- Puzzle: What is the tempest that shakes the darling buds of May? Answer: Love (from “Sonnet 18”)
- Puzzle: What is the poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage? Answer: Life (from “Macbeth,” Act V, Scene V)
- Puzzle: What is the sleep that knits up the ravell’d sleeve of care? Answer: Death (from “Macbeth,” Act II, Scene II)
- Puzzle: What is the serpent’s egg that hatches into a brood of woes? Answer: Ambition (from “Julius Caesar,” Act II, Scene II)
- Puzzle: What is the journey that ends in the heartache and the thousand natural shocks? Answer: Life (from “Hamlet,” Act III, Scene I)
- Puzzle: What is the passionate pilgrim who treads the path of love? Answer: Romeo (from “Romeo and Juliet”)
- Puzzle: What is the sea of troubles that comes with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune? Answer: Life (from “Hamlet,” Act III, Scene I)
- Puzzle: What is the fire-eyed fury that begets horrors? Answer: Anger (from “King Lear,” Act III, Scene IV)
- I am a tempest in a teapot, a whisper in the wind. What am I?
Answer: Puck’s mischief (referring to Puck from “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”) - I am a stage where players strut and fret, yet I am but a shadow of reality. What am I?
Answer: The Globe Theatre - I am a feathered messenger, bearing secrets in my beak. What am I?
Answer: A raven (referring to the raven in “Macbeth”) - I am a crown of thorns, worn by ambition’s child. What am I?
Answer: The crown of King Lear - I am a sea of troubles, a melancholy abyss. What am I?
Answer: Hamlet’s mind - I am a rose by any other name, yet I hold a poison within. What am I?
Answer: Juliet’s potion - I am a phoenix, rising from ashes of betrayal. What am I?
Answer: Desdemona’s innocence - I am a forest of dreams, where fairies dance in moonlight. What am I?
Answer: Arden Forest (from “As You Like It”) - I am a serpent’s tongue, weaving tales of deception. What am I?
Answer: Iago’s words - I am a jewel of wisdom, buried beneath layers of folly. What am I?
Answer: Fool’s advice (from “King Lear”) - I am a dagger of guilt, haunting the sleepless night. What am I?
Answer: Macbeth’s conscience - I am a storm of passion, raging in the hearts of lovers. What am I?
Answer: Romeo’s love - I am a tapestry of fate, woven by the hands of gods. What am I?
Answer: The witches’ prophecy (from “Macbeth”) - I am a mask of comedy, hiding tears behind laughter. What am I?
Answer: Feste’s jests (from “Twelfth Night”) - I am a torch in the darkness, leading the lost astray. What am I?
Answer: Prospero’s magic (from “The Tempest”) - I am a mirror of truth, reflecting the flaws of humanity. What am I?
Answer: Portia’s test (from “The Merchant of Venice”) - I am a ship of fools, sailing towards the horizon of folly. What am I?
Answer: The crew of Bottom’s play (from “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”) - I am a quill dipped in passion, writing sonnets to eternity. What am I?
Answer: Shakespeare’s pen - I am a phoenix, reborn in the ashes of betrayal. What am I?
Answer: Cordelia’s loyalty (from “King Lear”) - I am a jewel of irony, sparkling amidst tragedy. What am I?
Answer: Mercutio’s wit (from “Romeo and Juliet”)
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