Pun it, share it !

Tasteless Funny Best Jokes

1. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had no body to go with.
2. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
3. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like my ex.
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
6. Why did the computer take up gardening? It wanted to improve its root access.
7. Why did the banana go to therapy? It couldn’t peel with its emotions.
8. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
9. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
10. Why did the vampire start a cooking show? He wanted to learn how to stake properly.
11. Why did the ghost break up with the vampire? He found him too draining.
12. Why did the smartphone go to school? It wanted to improve its reception.
13. Why did the broom go to therapy? It had too many issues with sweeping things under the rug.
14. Why did the pencil go to the gym? It wanted to get in good shape.
15. Why did the cookie cry? Because its mother was a wafer too long.
16. Why did the cat sit on the computer? It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.
17. Why did the tomato turn green? Because it saw the salad dressing and got jealous.
18. Why did the belt go to jail? It was holding up a pair of pants.
19. Why did the light bulb go to therapy? It had too many issues with burning out.
20. Why did the musician break up with his metronome? It couldn’t keep up with the relationship.

Tasteless Puns Jokes

1. Why did the bread break up with the butter? It felt too spread thin.
2. Why did the bicycle fall over during the race? It was two-tired of the competition.
3. Why did the grape refuse to play tennis? It was afraid of getting into a jam.
4. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing and couldn’t ketchup.
5. Why did the clock get kicked out of the party? It couldn’t keep its hands to itself.
6. Why did the pencil fail the test? It didn’t have a point.
7. Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes of emotional baggage.
8. Why did the ice cream break up with the freezer? It needed space to melt its feelings.
9. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
10. Why did the scarecrow become a successful motivational speaker? It was outstanding in its field.
11. Why did the math book become a comedian? It had too many problems, but it knew how to multiply the laughs.
12. Why did the grapefruit break up with the orange? It found the relationship too citrusy.
13. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? It had no body to dance with.
14. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing strip down to its lettuce.
15. Why did the burglar take a shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
16. Why did the tomato file a police report? It got squished in a hit-and-run.
17. Why did the cookie go to therapy? It had too many issues with being crumbly.
18. Why did the comedian go to jail? His jokes were too pun-ishing.
19. Why did the tree get promoted? It had strong roots in the company.
20. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.

Tasteless Pickup Lines Jokes

1. Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “Fine” written all over you.
2. Do you have a name, or can I call you mine for the night?
3. Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears, and I’m left in awkward silence.
4. Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’ve been searching for, and I feel slightly violated.
5. Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you, and now I need medical attention.
6. Are you a WiFi signal? Because I’m not feeling a strong connection here.
7. If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber, but this line still makes no sense.
8. Excuse me, but I think you dropped something: my jaw.
9. Are you a time traveler? Because every second with you feels like an eternity.
10. Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes, and GPS isn’t helping.
11. Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “Expired” written all over you.
12. Is your name Waldo? Because someone like you is hard to find, and this pickup line is just as hard to swallow.
13. Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot, and I want s’more… of someone else’s company.
14. Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot? Either way, I regret asking.
15. Is your name Wi-fi? Because I’m feeling a weak connection, and I’m considering switching to a different network.
16. Excuse me, but I think you owe me a drink. When I looked at you, I dropped mine out of sheer disappointment.
17. If you were a cat, you’d purr-fectly fit into my plans for a regrettable evening.
18. Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “Do Not Pay” written all over you.
19. Is your name Cinderella? Because when I see you, time stands still, and I contemplate my life choices.
20. Do you have a name, or can I call you mine for the next 15 minutes until this conversation inevitably crashes?

Tasteless Charade Jokes

1. Performing the Heimlich maneuver on a goldfish.
2. Mime trying to escape from a giant marshmallow.
3. Pretending to juggle invisible flaming spaghetti.
4. Acting out a sneezing competition with invisible pepper.
5. Imitating a penguin attempting a cartwheel on an iceberg.
6. Depicting the art of synchronized swimming in an invisible puddle.
7. Playing air guitar on an imaginary rubber chicken.
8. Pantomiming a ninja ballet with an invisible sword.
9. Acting out a mime trapped in an invisible box made of jelly.
10. Imitating a one-person conga line with an invisible partner.
11. Depicting a mime navigating a maze of invisible banana peels.
12. Performing an interpretive dance about the frustration of tangled headphones.
13. Pretending to be a contortionist stuck in a giant invisible bubblegum bubble.
14. Acting out a mime’s quest to catch invisible fireflies with chopsticks.
15. Imitating a superhero battling an army of invisible mosquitoes.
16. Depicting a mime being chased by a swarm of invisible bees.
17. Performing an interpretive dance about untangling Christmas lights.
18. Pantomiming a magician pulling an endless string of invisible scarves from a hat.
19. Acting out a mime being chased by an invisible balloon filled with laughter.
20. Imitating a superhero trying to fly with an invisible jetpack.

Tasteless OneLiners Jokes

1. My love life is like a Sudoku. I have no idea what I’m doing, and it always ends up a complete mess.
2. I asked the librarian if they had a book on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
3. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands and fingers.
5. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
6. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
7. Why did the scarecrow become a successful motivational speaker? Because he was outstanding in his field.
8. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like my ex.
9. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
10. My cat and I have a lot in common – we both ignore each other, and he poops in a box.
11. I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough, but now I’m a banker because I kneaded money.
12. I asked the doctor if I could administer my own anesthesia. He said, “Sure, knock yourself out.”
13. Why don’t scientists trust stairs? Because they’re always up to something.
14. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
15. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
16. I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough, but now I’m a banker because I kneaded the dough more.
17. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
18. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
19. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
20. My love life is like a Sudoku. I have no idea what I’m doing, and it always ends up a complete mess.

Tasteless Quotes Jokes

1. “Life is like a sandwich – no matter how you flip it, the tasteless filling stays the same.”
2. “Love is blind, but so is my GPS when it comes to finding a decent date.”
3. “The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese – and a tasteful escape plan.”
4. “Success is 10% inspiration, 90% accidentally hitting ‘Reply All’ on the company email.”
5. “Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a comfortable bed for your misery.”
6. “Age is just a number, but so is your credit score, and both define your level of regret.”
7. “I’m not lazy; I’m in energy-saving mode for more important tasks, like avoiding responsibilities.”
8. “In the game of life, I’m the Monopoly piece that ends up stuck in jail for poor life choices.”
9. “The early worm gets caught by the lazy bird – that’s life’s way of teaching punctuality.”
10. “If laughter is the best medicine, my bank account must be overdosing on comedy.”
11. “I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right. It’s called being informative, not insufferable.”
12. “I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination – just not right now.”
13. “They say money talks, but mine only knows how to say ‘Goodbye!'”
14. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it – until my doctor gives me a disapproving look.”
15. “Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud – just like my neighbor’s questionable taste in music.”
16. “I’m not saying I’m indecisive, but I can’t even choose a favorite color for my socks.”
17. “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth, or until someone points out your coffee-stained ones.”
18. “I’m not a pessimist; I’m an experienced optimist who got tired of disappointment.”
19. “Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee and a questionable moral compass.”
20. “They say love is like a fart. If you force it, it’s probably going to be crap.”

Tasteless Captions Jokes

1. Trying to sell sunglasses to a bat.
2. Teaching a fish how to ride a bicycle.
3. Convincing a plant to switch to a vegan diet.
4. Applying for a job as a professional mime for a deaf audience.
5. Hosting a séance for invisible friends.
6. Sending a fax to the year 1995 with your latest selfie.
7. Trying to break a world record for the longest nap.
8. Practicing extreme knitting with spaghetti.
9. Launching a cooking show for water-only recipes.
10. Creating a dating app for introverted extroverts.
11. Training a cat to fetch your slippers and bring you coffee.
12. Writing a love letter to your Wi-Fi signal.
13. Competing in a silent karaoke championship.
14. Building a sandcastle in a desert and calling it “Beachfront Property.”
15. Attempting to sell ice cream to penguins in Antarctica.
16. Organizing a synchronized swimming competition for land animals.
17. Designing a fashion line for invisible mannequins.
18. Attempting to have a staring contest with a blinking traffic light.
19. Training a goldfish to play fetch with a tiny tennis ball.
20. Trying to convince a mirror that you’re the fairest of them all.

Tasteless Puzzles & Riddles Jokes

1. What has keys but can’t open locks?

Answer: A piano.

2. What has a heart that doesn’t beat?

Answer: An artichoke.

3. What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?

Answer: The letter ‘M’.

4. I have cities but no houses, mountains but no trees, and water but no fish. What am I?

Answer: A map.

5. What has one eye but can’t see?

Answer: A needle.

6. What can travel around the world while staying in a corner?

Answer: A stamp.

7. What has a neck but no head?

Answer: A bottle.

8. What has a thumb and four fingers but is not alive?

Answer: A glove.

9. What has ears but cannot hear?

Answer: Corn.

10. What has a heart that weighs more than its body?

Answer: Artichoke (again).

11. What has teeth but never eats?

Answer: A comb.

12. What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?

Answer: A teapot.

13. What has a bottom at the top?

Answer: Your legs.

14. What has a ring but no finger?

Answer: A telephone.

15. What has a head, a tail, is brown, and has no legs?

Answer: A penny.

16. What belongs to you but other people use it more than you do?

Answer: Your name.

17. What has keys but can’t open locks?

Answer: A computer keyboard.

18. What can be cracked, made, told, and played?

Answer: A joke.

19. What has many keys but can’t open a single lock?

Answer: A piano again.

20. What has a heart that doesn’t beat?

Answer: An artichoke once more.

1. What has keys but can’t open locks?

Answer: A piano, because it’s as useful in a locksmith emergency as this riddle.

2. What gets wetter as it dries?

Answer: A towel, and my sense of humor after hearing this riddle.

3. What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?

Answer: The letter ‘M,’ just like the enthusiasm I have for this riddle.

4. What has a heart that doesn’t beat?

Answer: An artichoke, because vegetable anatomy is as confusing as this riddle.

5. What can travel around the world while staying in a corner?

Answer: A stamp, unlike my interest level in this riddle.

6. What has a head, a tail, is brown, and has no legs?

Answer: A penny, which is worth more than the time spent on this riddle.

7. What has one eye but can’t see?

Answer: A needle, just like my chances of enjoying this riddle.

8. What has a spine but no bones?

Answer: A book, similar to the jokes in this riddle list.

9. What belongs to you but other people use it more than you do?

Answer: Your name, unlike the satisfaction derived from this riddle.

10. What has a bottom at the top?

Answer: Your legs, when you’re doing a handstand, much like the logic in this riddle.

11. What has many keys but can’t open a single lock?

Answer: A computer keyboard, just like the disappointment of this riddle.

12. What starts with ‘t,’ ends with ‘t,’ and is full of ‘t’?

Answer: A teapot, as riveting as the depth of this riddle.

13. What comes once in a lifetime, twice in a moment, but never in a second?

Answer: The letter ‘O,’ mirroring the originality of this riddle.

14. What has a neck but no head?

Answer: A bottle, resembling the closure of my interest in this riddle.

15. What has teeth but can’t bite?

Answer: A comb, much like the bite-sized enjoyment of this riddle.

16. What has ears but cannot hear?

Answer: A cornfield, analogous to the sound of crickets after this riddle.

17. What has cities but no houses, forests but no trees, and rivers but no water?

Answer: A map, mapping out the lack of excitement in this riddle.

18. What can be cracked, made, told, and played?

Answer: A joke, just like the unfolding disappointment of this riddle.

19. What has a heart that doesn’t love?

Answer: An artichoke, much like the love lost for this riddle.

20. What has a million stories but cannot read?

Answer: A library, reflecting the lack of plot in this riddle.

Pun it, share it !