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Zombie Funny Best Jokes

1. Why did the zombie break up with his girlfriend? Because she didn’t have enough brains for him!
2. What do you call a zombie who cooks? A dead chef!
3. Why don’t zombies ever win at poker? Because they can’t keep a straight face!
4. How do zombies keep their hair in place? With scare-spray!
5. Why did the zombie go to school? He wanted to improve his “dead-ucation”!
6. What do you get when you cross a zombie with a snowman? Frostbite!
7. Why did the zombie go to the party alone? Because he couldn’t find anyone else with his sense of “un-dead” fashion!
8. How do zombies communicate underwater? With “corpse code”!
9. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? Because they taste funny!
10. What’s a zombie’s favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders (and Knees and Toes)!
11. Why did the zombie go to the therapist? He wanted to get his “braaaaaains” in order!
12. What do zombies say before a meal? Bone appetit!
13. Why was the zombie so good at basketball? He was great at “dead shots”!
14. What do you call a zombie who can’t remember anything? An absent-minded ghoul!
15. Why don’t zombies ever get lost? Because they always follow their “gut” instincts!
16. How did the zombie start his own business? He put his “deadication” into it!
17. Why don’t zombies ever go on roller coasters? They’re afraid of losing their heads!
18. What’s a zombie’s favorite type of bean? A human bean!
19. Why did the zombie go to the art museum? He wanted to feast his eyes on some “ex-quisite” works!
20. What’s a zombie’s favorite dance move? The “zomb-stomp”!

Zombie Puns Jokes

1. Why did the zombie go to the party? He heard it was a “grave” affair!
2. What did the zombie say to his date? “You make my heart skip a beat… because it’s not beating at all!”
3. Why did the zombie become a comedian? He had a killer sense of “dead-pan” humor!
4. What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal? Rice Creepies!
5. Why did the zombie join the band? He wanted to play the “trom-bone”!
6. Why don’t zombies ever get colds? They’re already dead inside!
7. What did the zombie say to the bartender? “I’ll have a bloody mary… hold the vodka!”
8. What’s a zombie’s favorite exercise? The “dead-lift”!
9. Why don’t zombies ever get lost? They always follow their “intestines”!
10. What do you call a zombie who wins an award? A “dead” winner!
11. Why did the zombie apply for a job at the bakery? He heard they knead someone with brains!
12. What’s a zombie’s favorite dessert? Grave-y pudding!
13. Why did the zombie go to school? He wanted to improve his “dead-ucation”!
14. What’s a zombie’s favorite game? “Hide and go eat”!
15. Why don’t zombies ever go to the beach? They’re afraid of getting sand in their joints!
16. What did the zombie say when he was late for dinner? “Sorry, I was caught up in a grave matter!”
17. Why don’t zombies ever get stressed? Because they’re already “un-dead” inside!
18. What’s a zombie’s favorite part of the newspaper? The “obituaries”!
19. Why did the zombie go to the doctor? He had a bad case of “mummy-tosis”!
20. What did the zombie say to his friend? “Let’s go out for a bite!”

Zombie Pickup Lines Jokes

1. Is it just me or are you dead excited to meet me?
2. Are you made of decayed matter? Because you’ve got my heart rotting.
3. Is that your jaw hanging loose or are you just hungry for my brains?
4. Do you believe in love after undeath?
5. Are you a necromancer? Because you just raised my spirits.
6. Do you mind if I follow you home? My limbs are falling for you.
7. Is that rigor mortis or are you just happy to see me?
8. Are you a graveyard? Because I’m digging you a lot.
9. Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your dead eyes.
10. Is it me or is there an apocalypse of butterflies in my stomach when I’m with you?
11. Are you decomposing? Because you’re looking like a snack.
12. Do you prefer slow zombies or fast zombies? Because I’d chase you at any pace.
13. Are you into roleplay? Because I could be your undead lover.
14. Do you mind if I infect you with my love virus?
15. Is it rigor mortis or are you just stiff for me?
16. Are you a cemetery gate? Because I’m dying to get through to you.
17. Do you believe in life after infection?
18. Is your name Rigor? Because you’ve got me stiff as a board.
19. Do you want to be my undead bride/groom?
20. Is that a maggot in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Zombie Charade Jokes

1. Charade: *Act out stumbling and moaning* Answer: Zombie
2. Charade: *Pretend to eat imaginary brains* Answer: Eating Brains
3. Charade: *Walk like a zombie searching for prey* Answer: Hunting Humans
4. Charade: *Gesture to your head and make a confused expression* Answer: Zombie Confusion
5. Charade: *Hold your arms out like you’re reaching for something* Answer: Hungry for Flesh
6. Charade: *Pretend to break through a door with your hands* Answer: Breaking In
7. Charade: *Act like you’re decomposing* Answer: Rotting Flesh
8. Charade: *Pretend to crawl out of a grave* Answer: Rising from the Dead
9. Charade: *Make a scary face and growl* Answer: Zombie Growl
10. Charade: *Walk in slow motion with arms outstretched* Answer: Slow Zombie
11. Charade: *Pretend to be startled and then chase after someone* Answer: Scare and Chase
12. Charade: *Point to your head and then act like you’re eating* Answer: Zombie Intellect
13. Charade: *Hold your arms up like you’re surrendering* Answer: Surrendering to the Inevitable
14. Charade: *Pretend to stumble over obstacles* Answer: Navigating Obstacles
15. Charade: *Hold your hand to your ear and then point forward* Answer: Hearing the Living
16. Charade: *Pretend to stumble and then fall dramatically* Answer: Zombie Tumble
17. Charade: *Pretend to sniff the air and then lick your lips* Answer: Smelling Fresh Meat
18. Charade: *Act out a zombie feasting on something* Answer: Feasting on Flesh
19. Charade: *Pretend to look around in confusion and then start walking* Answer: Lost Zombie
20. Charade: *Hold your hands up to your head and groan* Answer: Headache from Lack of Brains

Zombie OneLiners Jokes

1. I’m not dead, I’m just undeadicated.
2. Why did the zombie go to school? To improve his deaducation.
3. Why did the zombie break up with his girlfriend? She just wasn’t his type, she was too lively.
4. What do zombies use to write letters? A decompositional pen.
5. Why don’t zombies go to concerts? Because they have no body to dance with.
6. What’s a zombie’s favorite toy? A brain teaser.
7. Why did the zombie apply for a job? He wanted to put his graveyard shift to good use.
8. Why did the zombie cross the road? To get to the fresh brains on the other side.
9. What do you call a zombie who tells good jokes? A dead comedian.
10. Why did the zombie go to the party? He heard it was a dead giveaway.
11. What’s a zombie’s favorite dessert? Grave-y pudding.
12. Why was the zombie always calm? He had no nerves.
13. Why don’t zombies ever win races? They’re always dead last.
14. What did the zombie say to the detective? “I’ve got a bone to pick with you.”
15. Why did the zombie go to the bar? He wanted some cold drinks and warm bodies.
16. Why did the zombie take up gardening? He wanted to grow some fresh brains.
17. Why did the zombie get a pet dog? He heard they were great at fetching limbs.
18. What’s a zombie’s favorite board game? Dead of Winter.
19. Why did the zombie join the circus? He wanted to be a part of the “deadly” acts.
20. Why don’t zombies ever go on roller coasters? They can’t stomach the ups and downs.

Zombie Quotes Jokes

1. “Life is like a box of brains, you never know what you’re gonna eat.”
2. “In a world full of flesh-eaters, be the one with a big heart… and a bigger appetite.”
3. “Some people say I’m dead inside, I take it as a compliment.”
4. “I’m not dead, I’m just undead-pressed for time.”
5. “Zombies don’t cry, we just have something in our eyes… usually brains.”
6. “In the game of life, I’m just playing dead.”
7. “Why fit in when you can stand out… as the only undead in the room?”
8. “I’m not a morning person, I’m more of a midnight snacker.”
9. “Life’s too short to not chase after your next meal.”
10. “Keep calm and eat brains.”
11. “I don’t always chase after humans, but when I do, I prefer brains.”
12. “I’m not rotten, I’m just well-aged.”
13. “Love at first bite.”
14. “Why blend in when you were born to stand out… in the graveyard.”
15. “I’m not dead weight, I’m just heavily decomposed.”
16. “I’m not afraid of commitment, I’m just afraid of running out of brains.”
17. “Live every day like it’s your last… because, well, it probably is.”
18. “Be yourself, unless you can be a zombie. Then always be a zombie.”
19. “Some people see a half-empty glass, I see a half-full stomach.”
20. “Don’t hate the undead, hate the hunger.”

Zombie Captions Jokes

1. “Just a bite to eat… of your brains.”
2. “Zombie walk: Because running is so mainstream.”
3. “Feeling dead, but still fabulous.”
4. “I’m not a morning person… or an afternoon person… or an evening person.”
5. “Sorry, I’m a bit dead inside today.”
6. “Eat, sleep, crave brains, repeat.”
7. “Zombie apocalypse? More like a zombie party!”
8. “Life’s too short to not eat dessert first.”
9. “Dead tired, but still hungry for more.”
10. “Zombies just wanna have fun… and brains.”
11. “I’m not slow, I’m just undeadicated.”
12. “Living life one bite at a time.”
13. “Zombie squad: We stick together… mostly because we’re rotting.”
14. “The early bird gets the worm… but the early zombie gets the brains.”
15. “When life gives you lemons, ask for brains instead.”
16. “Dead men tell no tales… but zombies sure do.”
17. “I’m not dead, I’m just well-seasoned.”
18. “Why fit in when you were born to stand out… as the undead?”
19. “Love at first bite… literally.”
20. “Keep calm and eat brains.”

Zombie Puzzles & Riddles Jokes

1. Puzzle 1: In a room filled with zombie statues, one of them holds the key to the exit. Which one? (Answer: The one with a missing finger)
2. Puzzle 2: Decode the message written in zombie language to find the location of the antidote. (Answer: Translate the symbols into letters to reveal the clue)
3. Puzzle 3: Arrange the scattered body parts to form a path out of the maze before the zombies awake. (Answer: Rearrange the limbs to create a clear path)
4. Puzzle 4: Use mirrors strategically to redirect sunlight onto a specific spot to reveal hidden instructions. (Answer: Position the mirrors to uncover the hidden message)
5. Puzzle 5: Navigate through a series of riddles written in blood to reach the safe zone. (Answer: Solve each riddle to progress)
6. Puzzle 6: Mix various zombie body fluids to create a chemical reaction that unlocks the door. (Answer: Combine the fluids in the correct order)
7. Puzzle 7: Match the zombie moans with their corresponding musical notes to unlock the melody code. (Answer: Match each moan to its musical note)
8. Puzzle 8: Solve the mathematical equations carved into the zombie skulls to reveal the access code. (Answer: Calculate the solutions to each equation)
9. Puzzle 9: Use a Geiger counter to detect radiation hotspots, which lead to hidden caches of supplies. (Answer: Follow the readings to find the supplies)
10. Puzzle 10: Piece together torn pages of a diary to uncover the backstory of Patient Zero and find clues to escape. (Answer: Assemble the diary pages in chronological order)
11. Puzzle 11: Find and collect scattered chess pieces in the room, then play out a winning move sequence to unlock the door. (Answer: Arrange the pieces on the board and make the winning move)
12. Puzzle 12: Follow the constellation patterns on the ceiling to navigate through the dark corridors safely. (Answer: Use the stars as a guide)
13. Puzzle 13: Use a UV light to reveal hidden messages written in zombie blood on the walls. (Answer: Shine the UV light to uncover the messages)
14. Puzzle 14: Unlock the cryptic zombie hieroglyphs to decipher the ritual needed to banish the undead. (Answer: Translate the symbols into actions)
15. Puzzle 15: Play a tune on a broken piano to trigger a memory in a dormant zombie’s mind, revealing the exit location. (Answer: Play the correct melody)
16. Puzzle 16: Navigate through a maze while avoiding tripwires connected to zombie alarms. (Answer: Carefully maneuver through the maze without triggering the alarms)
17. Puzzle 17: Use a metal detector to find buried keys beneath the rubble of a collapsed building. (Answer: Follow the detector’s beeps to locate the keys)
18. Puzzle 18: Decode the ancient zombie runes to activate the portal that leads to safety. (Answer: Translate the runes into activation commands)
19. Puzzle 19: Match zombie fingerprints found on objects to unlock the biometric scanner guarding the exit. (Answer: Identify the correct fingerprints and use them on the scanner)
20. Puzzle 20: Recreate the chemical formula for the antidote by analyzing the ingredients scattered throughout the laboratory. (Answer: Identify and combine the correct components)

1. What do zombie teachers say to their students? Answer: “Let’s get to the rot of the problem.”
2. What did the zombie say to the door-to-door salesman? Answer: “Sorry, we’re not interested. We’ve already got a brain buffet.”
3. What’s a zombie’s favorite dance move? Answer: The “Thriller” shuffle.
4. Why did the zombie go to the doctor? Answer: To get his funny bone checked.
5. What’s a zombie’s favorite type of music? Answer: Decomposed.
6. What do you call a zombie who’s good at puzzles? Answer: A brainiac.
7. Why did the zombie bring a ladder to the party? Answer: Because he heard the drinks were on the house.
8. What’s a zombie’s favorite exercise? Answer: The deadlift.
9. What did the zombie say to his date? Answer: “I love you for your mind… and your brain.”
10. Why did the zombie start a band? Answer: Because he wanted to make some “gore-ifying” music.
11. What do you call a zombie who’s a good singer? Answer: A moaner and crooner.
12. Why don’t zombies ever go on diets? Answer: Because they’re dead set in their ways.
13. What did the zombie eat after his workout? Answer: Protein-packed brains.
14. Why don’t zombies ever get lost? Answer: Because they always follow their gut… or rather, their nose.
15. What did the zombie bring to the barbecue? Answer: His “grill”friend.
16. Why did the zombie go to the party alone? Answer: He couldn’t find anyone with the same “dead-ication” to fun.
17. What do you call a zombie who’s a good dancer? Answer: The boogie monster.
18. Why did the zombie go to the beach? Answer: To catch some “dead” rays.
19. What’s a zombie’s favorite game show? Answer: Wheel of Misfortune.
20. Why did the zombie become a chef? Answer: Because he wanted to “flesh” out his culinary skills.

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